How to be a Ricer

Home  \  Asian Imports  \  How to be a Ricer

HOW TO BE A RICER
Pronounce N.O.S. as one word (NAWS).
When you are outpowered, call people out with your friends car.
Have an aftermarket body kit installed
Use of neons or L.E.D.'s to light up your car.
Use an aftermarket tachometer...when your car already has a working stock tachometer in it.
You must install a non-functional wing/spoiler on the back and front of your car.
Names of performance parts on your car that you dont have.
Claim to beat cars that your car is totally uncapable of beating.
Install racing seats on a car that runs a 16 second or slower quarter mile.
List stereo equiptment or any visual mod when listing all your performance mods.
Believe that Honda invented VTEC.
Putting sub-brand labels on your car...example:Honda emblems on an Acura, Toyota on a Lexus..ect.
Install an aftermarket duel-exhaust on a 4-cylinder.
Make your exhaust sound like a weed-wacker
Buy a nitrous system just to purge.
Mounting smaller tires to decrease gear ratio.
Multi collored body panels.
Claiming horse power and quarter mile times with out testing or proof.
Talk about how fast your car will be once you buy and install all the parts.
Fliping your hazard lights,during/after a loss or during a flyby
Say you lost because your car is running on a shitty tune and needs to be tuned.......... when you're on the stock computer...
rev @ every car on the road that will eat you(no matter what direction they are going)
If some challenges you 2 a race you have 2 options
a.race and when you lose go to ws and lie your ass off
b.tell em they are a waste of time
my clutch is slipping,i missed a gear,my vtec was set to low,
when the vinyl work is worth more than the car,
when someone does a neutral drop in an automatic,
starting in reverse by mistake
I started in 2nd intstead of 1st
My shift light went off late
I didnt catch posi trac on that one
my neonlight valve stem covers are robbing hp
I didnt double clutch like i should have
When the exhaust consist of coat hangers and jb weld
Yeah its got about 5000 dollars invested in it ( and it still looks like shit)
Its a prototype that no one has (built from duct tape and blue glue and pvc piping)
driving in and out of traffic with your 99' Integra thinking you have a fast car
Getting your #s from a g-tech or some other similar meter.
using chicken wire as a mesh grill
Having gauges that do not work
Having a body kit and no plans on painting it
When you double side tape parts to the car and expect them to hold up at 78 mph
"Yeah its VTEC, but its not hooked up yet"
When you consider primer as a color choice
When you tell people it has a 9000 rpm redline and can only turn 6700
if you talk about owning a skyline someday and you drive a civic
having windshield washer squirters with lights in them
You refer as everything being JDM
Tell people you are running nitrous,when its really N.O.S. octane booster.
taking your 50whp civic to a dyno when it's stock
When you manually shift an automatic
Going to the dragstrip with slicks and running a 16.05 in the 1/8
All you do is brag about how much of a street racer you are
When your car consist of a GTR badge on the car and is not a skyline
you post pics of your parents car and claim it for you own
when your car has more torque in the lug nuts than in the motor
list winshield wipers as a mod and carbon fiber pedals
When you transform your car into something else with a headlight swap and taillight swap
When someone asks you if its mandrel bent or crush piping and you have no answer
When you stick the rim and tire out further than the fenders and you use curb feelers to keep from messing them up.
when your body kit is held on by sheet rock screws and thumb tacks
If you "fat arm" out the window with a sideways cap.
If you are 5'2 and you drive in the back seat
If you have to beg your parents to drive the civic
when you de-badge your GST ecplise of LX civic because its the suck model
windshield sticker saying powered by....(127 @the crank yeah thats power)
You remove every piece of your interior and you still run 16's
you have diamond plate floormats
you have a racing harness on your stock civic lx seat
you make your own intake out of pvc pipe
you know what jdm means
you have hubcaps that resemble rims
you drive any korean car and "mod" it
if you put 18, 19, or 20" rims on a sport compact.
If you spraypaint your interior
if you don't make fun of ricers
If you are getting angry while reading this list
put lambo doors on
You join CLUBRSX , not to goof on them, but because you actually think they are fast
you drive in 1st gear 90% of the time so you can hear the vtec whine
you have a bumper sticker that says drive it like you stole it
your keychain says aem/tanabe/greddy/typeR/si/mugen/....
you play nfsu2 everyday
you try to spell as many words linked to honda with your alphabets cereal
You treat your nfsu2 car like its a real car
Type-R
I will own you in the twisties
You have a V6 camaro/mustang and spend enough money to buy a V8 just to make people think it's a V8.
You've ever swung in behind a car (at 50 mph) in an attempt to draft.
When you lose you say "But your car has 4 more cylinders"
when you lose you say "Imagine if Honda made an engine as big as yours, because my 4 cylindler has 100 HP/Liter!"
You have a Vin Diesel poster
You buy a civic, add a cold air intake and cat back exhaust, and brag about how much faster it is than when it was stock.
You have to let the passengers know when you're flooring it
If you know you can't win, you dump the clutch at 8,000 RPM's and say you couldn't hook up, but at least you looked cool
The only 2 exotic cars you can name are Supra and Skyline.
If you tell the story of how your friend has such a fast car, he put a $10 bill on the dash, floored it, and you couldn't reach it on the dash because you were too pinned in your seat.
When you claim to race a stock automatic cobra.
When your cardomain site has a 'future mods' list.When you can shoot a grapefruit from your exhaust tip
LED exhaust tips.
When you have NOS seat covers.
When you have competitve races with cars- that dont know they are racing.
Put the car (automatic) in neutral on hills so that it rolls back like a manual and then go into drive when the light turns green.
Form opinions on cars you know nothing about.
Walmart is your #1 Auto Parts Supplier.
when you scream VTAK out the window cause you think it makes the car faster.
starting a poll about who would win in a race before you race. claiming to "own or burn" other cars as you pass them in traffic clear taillights
engine swaps
claiming to run sub 8 sec 1/4 mile times in a 2.3L engine
blue or green cold air intakes

posted by  Integraluver2

Lmfao

posted by  99integra

forgot:


4 door accords
cloth interiors
base model tuners
modds
turbo 1.3L

posted by  Integraluver2

Hey now, accords are cool

posted by  99integra

edit: delete 4 door accords

posted by  Integraluver2

The new me won't argue with any of the opinions posted there (the old, knowledgeable me would have pointed out the flaws in that "joke.")

posted by  ChrisV

OMG!! It's C4!! We were wondering how long it would take...hello buddy!! I hate to tell you though man...we found someone more annoying than you.

posted by  hondaman

who thinks there more of an annoying prick than me?

posted by  Integraluver2

I don't know if they think they are...but he is genuinely stupid, and he claims to drive a Ferrari.

posted by  hondaman

Wait a sec, your name is Integraluver2, and C4 made fun of my Integra, and FerrariMan666, so, pick which one C4 :thumbs:

posted by  99integra

If you are C4 then ferrariman666 is even more annoying than you...he's a certified jackass.

posted by  hondaman

No, I'm not ferrari, but I will challenge him to a smack off

posted by  Integraluver2

but 1st he has to post his screen name on a paper stabed over his shifter knob- or he don't get blessed by C4

posted by  Integraluver2

I knew it, you know you will get banned don't ya :wink2:

posted by  99integra

LOL, there's the thing...he can't be persuaded to post any pictures either.

posted by  hondaman

thats it then, if he can't post pics, you know he's full of shit... if you guys don't tell on me I can stay-why go with a 360(to try and make it somewhat believable I suppose) I would have chose the Classic 328 GTO, 1984, twin turbo kit- but then what do I know,
Lets call him -Juan Johnson- Maimi Rice

posted by  Integraluver2

lol yea cause theres no ferraris in his state to go up to and put a peice of paper on and take a picture. cause the last one he tried to do it to the first time we asked the guy caught him and hosed him down.

posted by  72firebird

LOL! He went with the Ferrari 550 Maranello...he just uses that picture in his sig for some odd reason...

posted by  hondaman

and all admit the majority of the first thread was pretty funny. but there were a couple things that had no purpose being in the list

posted by  72firebird

Come on, not all ricers are bad. But in my book the following modifications are a ricer.

altezza lights, those things are everywhere (cars, trucks, vans)
side skirts, and only side skirts, no front and back bumpers
huge wing that resembles a whale's tail
two matching rims for the back and steel wheels for the front
taking the hub caps off
stickers of any kind
17" rims on stock suspension, looks like a 4X4
graphics on the side of the car
anything bought from the local auto zone
outside mods, the engine is stock
tilting the muffler, just because it looks cool

posted by  drifterv_2000

I checked his posts, he was getting pissed you were calling him C4- hahaha
look everyone Im on this forum to show you all I have a ferrari, but I won't post any pics really proving its mine, so just believe me- I don't have to prove its mine anyway you stupid ricers just believe me.--- HOW DARE YOU EVER CONFUSE ME WITH THAT KIND OF NONSENSE....
I was-and still am way better than that--

edit:Juan Johnson Maimi Rice

to:(race specific)Wan Johnson Miami Rice

posted by  Integraluver2

And the new me won't contradict anything on your list with facts, either. All opinions are valid.

:thumbs:

posted by  ChrisV

So you are ferrariman666?

posted by  99integra

no, and look at his post, he sucks, he can't even start a fight properly

posted by  Integraluver2

So you in fact are C4Power then?

posted by  99integra

How the hell is that even close to rice? That can buy seconds in an AutoX for any car (smaller diameter/profile, not skinnier) when done correctly.

posted by  VG30DE



Most of the first list applies to autocross cars, as well, and many on the second list do, as well as to real sports cars and street driven weekend race cars. Some apply to street rods and customs, but as we've found out from the more enlightened among us, small, light cars useful for road racing and autocross are not valid forms of transportation, and traditional street rods and customs are really stupid ricers in disguise. Also, only drag race prowess is the mark of a perfomance car, as I've come to understand from our smart friends who make lists like this.

Carry on!

:thumbs:

posted by  ChrisV

are you going to get me banned-again?

posted by  Integraluver2

No, just let me tell you some friendly advice, THE MODS READ THESE THREADS TOO!!

posted by  99integra

no I'M not C4 Power please dont confuse me with that prick
thanks... :smoke:

posted by  Integraluver2

So you are someone old that used to diss imports correct?

posted by  99integra

What are you trying to tell me? That you shouldn't daily drive your AutoX car, and if you do you are a ricer because AutoX doesn't matter anyway. If drag racing is the ONLY form of racing to you, then you must be really close minded. I'm not going any further but if that's how most people on this forum feel (which I don't feel is true) then wtf am I doing here.

posted by  VG30DE

I hope you arent taking him seriously right now. He is just saying what all the other 'know-it-alls' would tell you :banghead:

posted by  car_crazy89

Sorry I was. The internet lacks tone and emotion :thumbs: .

posted by  VG30DE

Haha thats alright :thumbs:

posted by  car_crazy89

it's not that I diss Imports as much as its entertaining to clown on rice-I know how 1999 right- but they keep on coming, it's like an invasion of Mexicans flooding the border-there even making movies about rice still- sequals no-less. I give you utmost respect if you can coax any reasonable power out of a small engine-just the claims of 600-750-800-1150 hp are based in make believe, yeah the aem civic right, buts its not a civic, its a full blown race motor, with not one Civic part on it, its even a fiberglass replica civic body. One of the Engine builders I had help on my engine had a pro-stock camaro 68 body possibly, with a 454 bored over .30 with a 150 shot.and other upgrades of course-that was a sick machine that ran mid 9's, in real life not on G-tec pro. thats why claims of 1/4 mile times of these small engine tuners are hard to believe.(I'm not saying it on you) but evey import is running low 10's???? come on..

posted by  Integraluver2

Who are you really?

posted by  99integra

you said the mods would read it

posted by  Integraluver2

Everyone knows who you are anyway :thumbs:

posted by  hondaman

whats takin Integra so long to catch up- should we send out the short yellow bus?

posted by  Integraluver2

**** off C4 :fu:

posted by  99integra

:laughing: no hes just running late cause a c4 broke down infront of him

posted by  72firebird

ahh back to normal

posted by  Integraluver2

DOH, I have a turbo 1.2L in my Civic.

posted by  Bino

Learn Chinese In Five Minutes

That's not right...
Sum Ting Wong

Did you go to the beach?...
Wai Yu So Tan?

This is a tow away zone...
No Pah King

Our meeting is scheduled for next week...
Wai Yu Kum Nao?

Staying out of sight...
Lei Ying Lo

practice these, I'll give you more later on -OUT

posted by  Integraluver2

Thanks, your a good man. :thumbs:

posted by  Accord_Man

hey hey dont hate the stickers
i got one on my trunk that reads OC or "Ocean City"
I guess im a ricer
LMAO
funny list tho kid
its kinda like what all the people i know did. Every item there is covered. and i mean every
no exceptions
lol
i dont remember if yuo listed this
but shaving the logos and handles and locks off of the car

posted by  6000LE

haha, The Wal-Mart I work at sells NOS floor mats. I almost thought of buying them one day but, they were blue and my car is green. However, I do have a blue steering wheel...

posted by  SyntheticTrust

Alright :clap:

posted by  Oomba

Don't people like these make you so proud to be white?

How about this: Piss off back to your trailor park and shag your sister and you'r cousin you stupid racist inbred redneck!

posted by  fudge

look everyone an angry chink

posted by  Integraluver2

Lol.

Wai Yu Sad?

posted by  Oomba

LMAO! You obviously know all of my friends and peers :laughing:

posted by  TurboLag

:orglaugh: :orglaugh: :orglaugh:

posted by  Integraluver2

Nothing I haven't heard before. Yeah I'm chinese and I'm proud of being one especially in situations like these. We don't stoop down to you're level because we know we're much better than you.

If you think you're so funny why don't you do stand up comedy fo the KKK. I'm sure they will be happy to hire you out.

Looks like CF is going down the pan with more ignorant and racist people joining. Time to move on to a better forum...

posted by  fudge

no dude, stick around. I reckon this guy will only be here 2 more days tops :wink2:

posted by  TurboLag

Oomba, I knew you hated Civics but I didn't expect you to go so low into using racist jokes towards me. I thought you were much better than that.

posted by  fudge

I'm not racist.

But it sounds like you are

"Yeah I'm chinese and I'm proud of being one especially in situations like these. We don't stoop down to you're level because we know we're much better than you."

Hm....

posted by  Oomba

FUDGE you just got smacked-off -chink-a-link

posted by  Integraluver2

Smacked off? Hmm, C4 said that alot..

COINCIDENCE?

I think not

posted by  Oomba

catch up bro- they were on to me yesterday, I just can't control my posts

posted by  Integraluver2

are those actual chinese words? (seriously)

if they are, i don't really think that could be considered racist, just a play on words...

for example-this would be considered racist (i think):
what do you call a woman w/ one leg shorter than the other?
eileen
what if she were chinese?
(i'm not going to finish this, since you all know the answer, and this is just an example)

the whole "sum ting wong" thing is just a play on words IMHO, as long as they are actual words in the chinese language, and not an attempt at lampooning the pronunciation of an asian person that speaks english as a 2nd language...<----if that's what they were going for, THEN it's racist---IMHO

:2cents: :2cents:

posted by  dodger65

How can that be racist if I used the word "you"(as referring to Integraluver). If I said "every white men" instead then yes I would be racist as I'm generalising white people but I'm not. Whereas you try imitating Integraluver to try to mock me and I take offence to that.

Please don't accuse me of being racist when I'm actually at the firing line of insults.

posted by  fudge

or what if I said your a slant eyed chink a link?
that wouldn't be racist because I was just saying it to you, not to every slant eyed chink a link,
I love your way of rationalizing how much your not racist :clap:

posted by  Integraluver2

whats yellow and go's "cheap cheap"
a chinese hooker

How do you know if you're Korean?
When you've got a bucket in your bathroom.

How do you know when Chinese are moving into your neighborhood?
When the Mexicans start getting car insurance

What's the difference between a pot of lobsters and a group of Japanese
tourists who've just been run over by a ricer?
There's no difference, they're all crustaceans ("crushed
Asians")
Top 10 Things Asians Should Have

10. Top Ramen
9. Plastic covered furniture
8. Motorola pager
7. Acura Integra w/ curb side scrapers, fog lights, spoiler,
rims,Type R decal..etc..
6. Rice cooker
5. Vtec t-shirt
4. Karaoke machine
3. A white hat
2. Joy Luck Club video
1. Chow Yun Fat bowl mop cut


RICE ON !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!-OUT

posted by  Integraluver2

Dude you are ****ing racist, how bout you just shut the hell up carpetmuncher

posted by  99integra

I don't care if he's a racist, we all are a little racist anyway

posted by  Integraluver2

You dumbshit I was talking to you, and everyone is a little racist but the smart ones don't state out loud there opinions :banghead:

posted by  99integra

don't be such a pussey-

posted by  Integraluver2

Yeah you're right everones a little bit racist. I guess I was wrong for standing up for my origin because that makes me sound bad.

posted by  fudge

I dont get it, i dont see why it matters or what makes it different. For one its on computer so most people wont know unless told. Like i never knew of what 'origin' you are but to me it didnt matter, your a good and helpful guy. Your still the good and helpful guy, even if some people are racist (like this asshole).

posted by  car_crazy89

Yes we are and you're not doing the american race much of a favour at the moment. What are you Spanish -American, Afrikann-American, Jewish- American, Anglo-American (fat chance), Irish - American, Native- American, Dickhead- American = bingo.

You are just perpetuating an american myth that you belong to some first fleet lineage when in fact, given your zeal for racism, you are probably descended from some squalid eastern european slavic tribe with a halfway asian tan.

posted by  Wally

he's annoying and this thread is just plain gay, i hope one of the mods will delete it.

posted by  HyundaGuy

I've clowned this whole forum 2wice, your a bunch of simple minded assholes, oooo no one can have an opinion, every car is great, every modder is a real race car tuner, all I need to make a simple comment and everyone steps up to be a hero, I'm just saying out loud what 1/2 of you pussey-holes are to scared to--------uhhhhhh yeah, cause we might get banned, and then have to go out into the real world, uhhhh what will I do if the mods kick me off, I know- I'll never voice my opinion in any way-yeah then I can have friends online that don't know what I really think :thumbs: :thumbs: :thumbs:

posted by  Integraluver2

you.. are a true idiot... enough said.

posted by  HyundaGuy

everyone is racist to a point. I'm mixed race english, scotish, black and even some native american in there. From the way I talk with people (in the real world) you would think I'm a member of the kkk or the third reich. In reality I don't judge anyone untill i meet them and have no prejudice against any group of people. But I am honest enough to tell my opinion of asian drivers to asians faces. hell my brother in law is a chink.

I atleast tell my racist jokes to everyone! I don't hide them from someone who might be offended. If I find it funny, it must be funny, if your offended> then your too soft! I take the piss out of every race there is, race jokes are funny, so too are gender jokes, blonde jokes, funny is funny. how many times have you laughed at something then thought "ow that was a bit bad though"? I reakon racist is actions.

so calm the f#*k down. It's you people out there who say "i'm not racist" but then go home and tell your mates about that nigger at work that have the problem. if you cant say it too his face then dont say it at all! but dont get all het up about some jokes on a web site.

every race also thinks it's better then others, italians think cos they ruled the world as romans they are better, the greeks thinks so cos they started half the shit we do today, the english because we did rule half the world for a while, yanks now do cos they rule the world for now, spanish also ruled for a while, china cos they done this and that way before everyone else, blah blah blah.

I get shit all day long about being english now I''m in NZ. SO WHAT! I get shit for my race, SO WHAT! if it's funny its funny.

integraluver? got anymore jokes, my brother in law will love em?

posted by  relicensed

I couldn't have said it better myself

posted by  Integraluver2

watch the irony of me getting banned by "superjew" for being a little too racist

posted by  Integraluver2

Umm, he's not a supermod nor mod anymore :screwy:

posted by  99integra

your smart enough to get my point

posted by  Integraluver2

Keep this sh** out of the car forums. somebody.

posted by  VG30DE

shut your hole ball-bag,

What's the difference between a pot of lobsters and a group of Japanese
tourists who've just been run over by a ricer?
There's no difference, they're all crustaceans ("crushed
Asians")
:orglaugh: :orglaugh: :orglaugh: :orglaugh: :orglaugh:

posted by  Integraluver2

it is the utmost relavance to Asian Imports, as you can see I'm teaching a quick lesson on how to speak chinese in 5 minutes. thats is a need-to-know peice of information if your going to modd out your ricemobile, and become a true tuner of fine automobiles :thumbs

posted by  Integraluver2

And you're obviously not smart enought to realise that SJ is no longer a Mod, and was never a Super Mod...


That's a Meat Loaf song....

Just sorry I didn't notice sooner.....And on that Bombshell, Integraprick, prepare for a ban, and guys, prepare never to be able to post in this thread again!

There's no place for narrow minded racism here at CF :banghead:

posted by  Cliffy

Your Message