My mom needs help

Home  \  Off Topic  \  My mom needs help

I am very sad and depressed right now, my mom is an alchoholic and I need to find a way to help her, she has tried AA meetings but it doesn't cut it, can someone please tell me any suggestions? :ohcrap:

posted by  99integra

That sucks man...
has she got something really important in her life that you can use as some sort of incentive?

posted by  windsonian

She has me but she doesn't realize that

posted by  99integra

I am sorry to hear that man. I hope that someone here can help. :ohcrap:

Just to keep you all posted as this thread seems to be on this topic:
As some of you all know my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer about 3-4 months ago. She has had 3 surgeries and is currently undergoing chemo (until sometime in September) and then will follow up with radiation and about a year of other meds. I just felt like I wanted to keep you all posted after saying something about it when I heard.

posted by  StiMan

She doing better?

posted by  99integra

I hope so. As everyone knows I am out of town, so I havent seen her. I call but...

posted by  StiMan

teggy, that really blows a goat nut...

unfortunately I know the problem with alcohol brother has been abusing it for well over two years now.

we've sent him to rehab, he sees a counsellor, but he still won't admit he has a problem. And that is the problem. He won't be able to stop it or really accept the help until he admits it...and that wont happen until he hits rock bottom..

only thing i can think of is some sort of intervention dealy...make her realize whats going on....that it isnt just her thats being hurt by drinking so much, but that everyone around her is being affected as well.

Keep truckin Teggy.

posted by  dodgerforlife

Ah dude, that really blows. I've had my share of mom problems though, since she went to the mental side of the hospital, and then to some mental institution for a while because of depression (this happened in 7th grade or so) -- she just headed down hill after my father died, and it really struck her after a while.

I'm not really sure what you should do about your mothers drinking problem though. I hope she snaps back into reality, cause I would hate to hear that something horrible has happened to another's parent.

Stay strong, we're here for you.

posted by  Paranoia

i dunno if they have them for alcoholics, but my uncle was a drug addict and alcoholic. hes spent his time in jail and now hes developed a liver diesease. his girlfriend (one of the main problems) is in jail in northern ohio. his buddy came from virginia and picked him up and took him back home with him. dave then joined a rehab clinic. its not liek your typical rehab place. it has 12 steps and its something like you rely on your fellow rehab people who help guide you. he lives in a homeless shelter at night and gets a few meals a day. during the day they force them out to wonder the streets to see if the temptation draws them away. the place the clinic is at is in the ghetto. when he visited last he seems alot better and has quit drinking. i dunno even what they are called but i know they have them in virginia and are getting 5 in kentucky. this is what he told me about a month ago from what i remeber. its mainly to help fight agaist meth i believe, but maybe they have something similiar for alcoholism? i doubt this helps, but it cant hurt i guess....

posted by  adamc44

You know alcoholism is lifestyle not a disease. If you lived in Oz you would know this to be true :wink2:

It's a hard ask to have someone admit to someone else they are a slave to the bottle, even a harder ask to have them spill their guts to a bunch of similarly disfunctional people sitting around in groups at an AA meeting.

Let's face it, getting pissed or stoned sends you to a comfort zone. The last thing you need is someone moralising, admonishing you and pointing out how you are making life a misery for your near and dearest. People don't drink to forget or drown sorrows, they drink to get the dopamine hit and feel care free.

So 99integra you asked for any suggestions to stop her drinking and here's mine: do not try to get her sober in a short space of time. Allocate a good two years to a drink reduction strategy. Don't throw your hands up in the air when she goes on the occassional bender, just ignore it and stick to the plan.

The tactics involved in the strategy could include diversionary activities or head on blockers to certain behaviours. What you need to do is find out what elevates her dopamine levels socially, without the need for drink or drugs. This could be being flirtatious, being in a rewarding occupation, a hobby, etc.

Whatever you do, don't get caught up in her predicament. She made her choices and as sad and callous as it seems she will have to reverse some of her habits all by herself if she feels there is a need. If she's an embarrassment in public or at family functions exclude her from your circle. When she twigs, just explain to her that the anxiety is too much to bear, which is the truth.

posted by  Wally

Bud I hope you find a way! if you do let me know what it is! I'm in the same boat as you but I'm now 20,000klm away from my mum.

I know I'll probably get slated by a bunch of liberal highlifers who haven't had to actually deal with an alcoholic mother since birth, but I had to leave as it had already effected my life to much. My mum knows I got a fund for her for when she's ready to do something about her drinking. But I don't know what can be done to aide peope like her.

I really do hope your story has a better conclusion than mine.

posted by  relicensed

what religion is your mom, my best friends stepfather was a chronic alchoholic and he turned to god, hes been sober for over 6 years. you should ask her bout that, it REALLY worked for him

posted by  Stem

i am sorry to hear that about your mother.
i cant say i know what it feels like to be in that situation but i can imagine what you are going through. maybe if the whole family convinces her that she needs to go seek help, she might have no other choice. even though she is alcoholic, there is still some mom in here right? so dont give up on her and let everyone at home convinve her to go get some help.
a very good friend of mine had a similar problem with his dad and everyone was there to convinve him that he needs professional help. Even though he was angry most of the time, he still understood and trust me that guy's dad was a beast to even talk to so your mom cant be worse and if this guy took the advice i am sure your mom will too :)
keep us updated, i hope she recovers soon man

posted by  Phantom Menace

Thanks guys, I am going to stay home with her today and make sure she goes and just make sure shes alright, I'll keep ya'll posted

posted by  99integra

Good luck man. :thumbs:

posted by  StiMan

I was just thinking....she's not going through the change of life is she?

posted by  Wally

Most alcoholics are actually suffering from depression. The alcoholism is secondary to the depression. They drink to forget, to fog out real life, whatever. Treatment should include counciling. For you and your mother. Let her know she's not in this by herself. Support from you and the rest of the family will go a long way. But, as I said to you before, she must be willing to change. Let me know what happens, I'll be happy to help when and where I can.

posted by  97Talonchik

i'm sorry to hear that 99integra i hope that someone can help her get back to reality again.
Stiman hopefully your mother will get better very soon my dad had leukiema and went through all of that shit and it was hell for about 8 months until he died sucks ass but ggod luck to both of you guys

posted by  mx3_monster

Sorry to hear about your mum, 99...I have no experience in alcoholism and as such can offer no valuable advise, just to keep supporting her :thumbs: :ohcrap:

StiMan, Hope ya mum makes a full and proper recovery! :thumbs:

posted by  Cliffy

Thank Cliffy! :thumbs:

posted by  StiMan

well coming from a few towns where alcohol is such a serious problem, the only thing i could suggest is ween her off alcohol and get her to smoke pot, ive also come from a town where pot was such a serious help ;) sorry to hear bout your mom dude, my best friends mom had same issues, alcoholism is a disease that probably ruins more families than anything

posted by  BanffAutoSpa_ap

yeazh b GET out the beam and buus off my newest rap free style BrUH
LISTEN AS i BUSS out this rap yall

here goes, no stopping free style style..........
I rock out the GTA style
you tried stayin for a while
but got fed up with the lines
but there just words I pluck off the vine
glance at my ride-it boasts the quick shine
you wish you had it so you start to whine
shut yor hole bitch its just a mini-buss
yeah but JAy it its time for me to juss
hop in the back, right on the seat rack
Jay said stop-if your black get in the luggage rack-
twice I sold crack to pay my friend back
he was like-hurry up your startin to slack
I was sayin chill- then started to hack-
hit hit me on my back to free up my clogged stack-
He was mad but at the same time glad-
his pocket was the deepest he ever had
Jays Turn to splice -lay off the white rice
there your free sample-for all you small mice

Ill buss out some more later B JAY BOOGiE SON!!!!!!!!!

posted by  ItsJayBoogieSon

Now that is just small, cold, and disrespectful. His mother has an alchohol problem godammit. This is NOT the place to post your silly shit in, whoever the f*ck you might be.

posted by  hondaman

yo I buss out an extra line for moms

pass us a drink
I rockin the fur mink
yo triple our shots-dudes mom got the hots
for me and more drinks, I thinks its the mink
she likes to wink, hides her bottles under the sink.

posted by  ItsJayBoogieSon

You son of a f*cking bitch. Do you have no morals or concience whatsoever?

Damn you to hell. GET THE F*CK OUT OF HERE.

posted by  hondaman

Thank you for banning him, Bav. I have a feeling that was C4.

posted by  hondaman

dude that :cussing: was DEFF. NOT COOL

posted by  hhsrastler92

**** off ass wipe.

posted by  StiMan

The problem with addiction is usually problems at home or at work. I sincerelyu think that the best help you can give a addicted person is love and understanding and trying to find a specific solution for her case. In many cases Ive seen that religion helps. It gives the person a new gaol in life and specially when supported by the other members of the family it can help. Good luck.Paul

posted by  tovarich

Steven, how is your mom doing?

posted by  SyntheticTrust

A LOT better

posted by  99integra

Thats good to hear man.

Hey, Steven, what happened to your STi Fan Club sig? Not like it anymore? Lol. (Not that the picture you have better is bad...)

posted by  StiMan

Lol, sorry bout that bro, prolly take up to much space if I put it up with it but okay, and bav, satty, or cliffy, take it down if it is to big

posted by  99integra

my grandma use to be a big alcholic but she stopped an now she's so much funner to be around

posted by  hhsrastler92

Bigger than mine? :hi: :laughing:

posted by  StiMan

Your Message