got a problem.

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ive been with this girl for about 3 years now and im getting sick of her crap. i dont have the heart to dump her and talking about our problems is completely out of the question. and to add to the situation get even worse, we have a child together. a beautifull 3 month old daughter, and she means the world to me. im afraid that if i dump her i will never see my child again.

WHAT DO I DO??????????

posted by  glagon1979

Why is talking about the problems out of the question?

Also, what kind of crap does she give you?

posted by  hondaman

prolonging a relationship you dont like isn't good. Females change constantly. Tell her what she's doing wrong or you're out. And get cusitidy or visitation rights.

posted by  SyntheticTrust

she always thinks im out to get her. everytime i bring something up she automaticly gets defensive.

everything is always my fault. its like she waits for me to do something wrong just so she can yell at me. it ****ing sucks

posted by  glagon1979

That sounds bad...

I think that you need to tell her about it. Even if she starts to blame you for it, you need to tell her that if she cares about you at all, she will listen. And if she tries to squirm her way out of that then I think she isn't worth the trouble, and you should do what synthetic said.

posted by  hondaman

Go to counseling I hear it worked wonders for other couples.

posted by  6000LE

Counseling is also a good idea. Let her know you are willing to make the effort to make the relationship work, and that she should be willing to do the same.

posted by  hondaman

counseling could upset her. Although it may be true in reality, in a girls mind it's like saying "There's something wrong with you and I'm going to fix it."

posted by  SyntheticTrust

i believe in that everything can be solved by talking... else just beat the krap out of the person.... ofc, thats not acceptable in this occasion.

just seriously try to talk to her. be the better person. if nuthin works, get counseling. if she doesnt want to, then you know you deserve better and so does the child. u know what to do then.

posted by  Inygknok

Lack of communication is one of the main reasons couples break up. Sit her down and talk to her about it. Don't get defensive. Act like a civilized adult. Don't raise your voice. Tell her your feelings and allow her to tell you hers. Listen to what she says and try to work out a compromise.

posted by  97Talonchik

thanks for all the help you guys (and gal). im gonna sit her down tonight and tell her how its gonna be. im done taking her shit. i'll let you know how it goes

posted by  glagon1979

there is NO compromise with her. its her way or nothing at all! im done, and the gloves are off.

posted by  glagon1979

When's the last time she got laid?

posted by  SyntheticTrust

well, you are supposed to wait 6 weeks to have sex after you have a child, so it been about a month and a half since we last did the nasty. she knows its there when ever she wants it, and she knows im always in the mood (hell, im a guy what else do you expect?). i dont think its about sex. she needs to calm the f*ck down.

posted by  glagon1979

dude - DR PHIL.

ahem - seriously - a marriage counsellor, or even just a regular counsellor could really help you two out. Don't make it seem like its her problem, at least not until you're in front of the counsellor.... Just approach the subject with her, saying that something isn't right between the two of you, and you have no idea what to do about it, and that you would like some outside help. She may take the bait for that one, because it isn't pinning it on her. I just hope she doesn't decide to get stupidly defensive at that moment.

posted by  dodgerforlife

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