I snitched

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I need some advice.

Yesterday at my horse show, my sister pulled me aside and told me some very upsetting news. She made me promise not to tell our Mom. She had secretly gotten married to the guy my Mother and I hate. This guy has beaten my sister twice. Sent her to the hospital. Trashed her apartment, shredded all her clothes. He's just so violent. He's mean as **** to me when I stayed with them for a weekend. I just told my Mom this morning. She's in her room upset. I didn't want to snitch on my sister but I really do fear for her safety. I honestly do believe this guy could kill her in their next fight. What should/can I do?

posted by  SyntheticTrust

You did the right thing telling your mom. What you or her can do depends entirely on your sister's age. It's not likely but if she's a minor your mom can pull the plug on the whole deal pronto. If she's an adult, which is the likely scenerio, there isn't much you can do except be there for her when she gets put in the hospital by this guy.

Keep in mind, tearing up her clothes or being an asshole isn't a crime. But if you ever see marks on your sister YOU can call the cops and get him put away... Something that should have been done the last two times she went to the hospital.

posted by  vwhobo

She's 22. Last she year she came to visit me and she did indeed have bruises on her arms and legs. I asked her what happened and she told me it was a bike injury only later to find out it was Russel's beatings.

posted by  SyntheticTrust

I've been in this situtation before. The biggest hurdle you're going to have is overcoming the fact that she's a facilitator. She'll continue to lie to cover for the person hurting her until she's somehow forced to see reality and tell the truth. But as I said before, YOU or anybody else can and should call the cops when they see marks on her and let them take care of it. They have ways of making you talk.

posted by  vwhobo

My Mom's already called the cops on him before. He's on some thing that's like if he touchs her he goes right to jail for 5 years or something like that.

posted by  SyntheticTrust

You did the right thing by telling her about it. People like that guy are ignorant pussies that should be put behind bars and anally raped.

posted by  SlipKnoT

Well you probably can't do anything to change your sister's behaviour. Just hope for the best and expect the worst. Whatever you do, don't put yourself physically between the two of them. If he'll hit her, he'll hit you too. Sounds like he's just not much of a man to me and a good ass kickin' might wake him up. Try these sites for more info than I'm qualified to give.

http://www.psychceu.com/DV/dvindex.html

http://www.womanabuseprevention.com/html/abuse_signs.html

http://www.ehow.com/how_1041_identify-victim-spousal.html

posted by  vwhobo

It's good that you told your mom, but you should keep an eye on your sister at least once a day.

posted by  chris_knows

You know while there are stupid woman out there that think they can tame an asrehole, there will always be this situation. While governements focus on third world countries and freeing native women from second class citizenary, there will always be this situation on the home front.

Cera get your sister oin this board and I will tell her exactly what this guy is doing. I will even tell her about the calms, the brooding, the problems he's having at work, the dissapearing gifts, the alcohol leveraged beatings, the make up sex, the gifts, the making a nest, his freinds who speak affectionatley of him, the neighbours who do nothing.

He is an arsehole and does not represent men. He is scum that would have been speared by the other men a couple of thousand years ago for causing group dysfunction. He is a cowardly predator that spends 24/7 thinking of ways to manipulate.

posted by  Wally

Better still get dickhead on the board and see how he handles himself when confronting actual grown up adults who will expose him for what he is.


And tell your sister form Wally, to flee while she still has a family support structure, because he will try to destroy it or take her somewhere remote away from prying eyes..... the stereotypical wanker that he is.

posted by  Wally

You definitely did the right thing. It's so messed up when guys have to go around and beat there girlfriends or wifes. It's sickening to me.

posted by  Spanky2324

AMEN!!!!!!!! or better yet, get a bunch of people together and give him a public ass whoopin, and then let your sister get the last punch

posted by  glagon1979

I would let dark take him to its embrace. That is my way. Silently and only reaction instead prevention, but efficient.

posted by  ngluvakov(euro)

How long have they been married for and under what circumstances did it take place? Each state is different, but generaly(sp?) you can look up getting the marriage annulled. There are circumstances :thumbs:

posted by  Voda48

It was a good thing to tell your mother. Domestic violence is a big problem in today's society.

On another note:

Cera, I want you to look at this point, trying as hard as you can not to become offended. You're afraid that your sister's husband might end up killing her. I agree with you 100% that her life is at risk. While you are thinking about this, I want you to also think about how Jeromy puts your life at risk. Granted, it may not be in a violent way, third laning at 105 is risking your life. Maybe you should take a second and look at how your own boyfriend is putting your life at risk.

posted by  torinoman80

That wont be a problem seeing as how he doesn't want anything to do with me now.

posted by  SyntheticTrust

I'm sorry to hear that, but it's probably for the best.

posted by  torinoman80

I still dont know what I did wrong though

posted by  SyntheticTrust

Don't worry about it. You deserve someone better than him.

posted by  torinoman80

He started answering his phone today (after 5 days of nothing).. keep your fingers crossed!

posted by  SyntheticTrust

Show him! Don't wait, do exactly what comes first to your mind. It shows a good tactic to anything. If you act seriously, people take you seriously!

posted by  ngluvakov(euro)

What you did "wrong" to him was apparently letting a bunch of more experienced people teach you something. That threatened him. he needs to grow up.

posted by  ChrisV

word to that.

you're pretty much better than him, it seems. :thumbs:

posted by  SuperJew

I called him tonight. A girl answered his phone. Then texted me saying to leave him alone. I'm so upset right now

posted by  SyntheticTrust

Cera, he doesn't deserve you. You seem drawn to his badboy intentions but Jeromy can't be the ONLY man down there. You're a hot momma girl, show HIM what's he's missing out on. Stop calling him, you're only feeding his ego and it won't make him come back. :2cents:

posted by  97Talonchik

I'm going to hang out with Mr. BMW tonight. Try to have a good time without thinking about Jeromy.

posted by  SyntheticTrust

There you go :thumbs: He's not worth your tears.

posted by  97Talonchik

All I want to know is where I ****ed up. .....Shit I know one thing, everthing that boy left at my house, is staying here. Even the porno. :wink2:

posted by  SyntheticTrust

That's the spirit. :clap: Don't worry about him, go out and have a good time.

posted by  torinoman80

It's weird. I feel like I have so much freedom now. Before I wasn't allowed to hang out with Darrel, Jon, Drew, Jake, David, Chris, or anyone else that lived at Chris's house. And now.. I can...:)

posted by  SyntheticTrust

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