im sorry but im hella bored right now and stressed out. have a statistics
test in around an hour.
was checking some forums in spanish (i still love u car-forums) and found some jokes. ill translate them.
A married couple finally reaches the 25 year marriage mark and the wife asks her husband:
-Hunny, what are you going to give me for our 25th anniversary?
To which the husband responds:
- A trip to China.
To this, the woman was completely surprised by the magnitude of the gift, and she asks him:
- But hunny, if it's this for 25 years of marriage.... what will you give me for our 50th anniversary?!
- I'll pick you up.
- Marie, we were so happy 15 years ago.
- But we didn't know each other by then.
- Exactly, I know.
A kid and his mom...
- Mom, how come dad's bald?
- Because he is very smart and has a lot to think about.
- Then how come you have so much hair?
Q: What's the month that women make the least stupidities?
A: February, it's the month with the fewest days.
Q: What's a woman, daughter, and the mother-in-law?
A: A cleaning kit.
Q: What's a woman, daughter, the mother-in-law, and the woman's husband?
A: A cleaning kit w/ instructions.
For the married ones.
Paradise was paradise because Adan had no mother-in-law.
There was a patient tended on his hospital bed. In the same room are his doctor, lawyer, wife, and kids. All of them kept waiting for his last breath, when all of a sudden the patient sits up, looks around and says:
- Assasins, thieves, ingrates, and scum!
Just like that, he lies back down.
The doctor, a bit confused, claims:
- I think he's doing better.
- Why do you say that, doctor?- Asks the confused wife.
- Cuz he recognized all of us.
Gotta love that last one lol :laughing:
I liked the cleaning kit ones. :laughing:
:orglaugh: :orglaugh: :orglaugh:
I'm going to have to borrow some of those...My favourite was the one about women making the few mistakes :orglaugh: Just a bit sexist...
I liked the first one the best. It reminded me of Ray's father on Everybody loves Raymond.
hehe glad u liked them, ill post a few more tomorrow morning which is when
i have some free time here in the university. ill ask for a few feminist
jokes from my gf just to be fair :thumbs:
ill try to get some feminist work jokes for chrisv's wife :mrgreen:
The first one is by far the best. Let's have some more...
sorry that i didnt bring any feminist jokes today. gf was tired and i told
her to go to sleep early yesterday and i finished working on the car at
8pm, so i went upstairs just to talk to her on the phone for a bit and went
to sleep fast after shower and dinner.
ok just remembered one.
There were 3 prisoners, one brunette, one redhead, and a blonde. They were all being held for treason and were about to be executed.
Up first was the brunette. She was positioned in front of a firing squad. Then the CO (Commanding Officer) got ready to give the order to fire.
CO: Ready men? Ready! Aim!
Then the brunette interrups: Tornado! Up over there!
And as all the soldiers looked away, she escaped in the commotion.
So they brought up the redhead.
CO: Ok men, we'll get this one. Ready! Aim!
And again, another prisoner escaped
So finally, they bring the blonde.
CO: Ok. Enough. Ready! Aim!
I've heard that one before but still :orglaugh: :orglaugh: :orglaugh:
found these on a site. ill simply copy and paste
Some Yugo fun...
How do you make a Yugo go faster?
What do you call the shock absorbers inside a Yugo?
Two guys in a Yugo were arrested last night in Oakland following a push-by shooting incident.
The new Yugo has an air bag. When you sense an impending accident, start pumping real fast.
A friend went to a dealer the other day and said, "I'd like a gas cap for my Yugo." The dealer replied, "Okay. Sounds like a fair trade."
I have also said for years that the car is named because "Yugo, but it doesn't".
How can you get a Yugo to do 60 miles an hour?
Push it over a cliff
Good stuff :orglaugh: :orglaugh: