Laugh a little

Home  \  Off Topic  \  Laugh a little

im sorry but im hella bored right now and stressed out. have a statistics test in around an hour.

was checking some forums in spanish (i still love u car-forums) and found some jokes. ill translate them.



A married couple finally reaches the 25 year marriage mark and the wife asks her husband:

-Hunny, what are you going to give me for our 25th anniversary?

To which the husband responds:
- A trip to China.

To this, the woman was completely surprised by the magnitude of the gift, and she asks him:

- But hunny, if it's this for 25 years of marriage.... what will you give me for our 50th anniversary?!

- I'll pick you up.



another one....

- Marie, we were so happy 15 years ago.
- But we didn't know each other by then.
- Exactly, I know.


A kid and his mom...
- Mom, how come dad's bald?
- Because he is very smart and has a lot to think about.
- Then how come you have so much hair?


Machist joke
Q: What's the month that women make the least stupidities?
A: February, it's the month with the fewest days.


Q: What's a woman, daughter, and the mother-in-law?
A: A cleaning kit.


Q: What's a woman, daughter, the mother-in-law, and the woman's husband?
A: A cleaning kit w/ instructions.


For the married ones.
Paradise was paradise because Adan had no mother-in-law.


Doctors.
There was a patient tended on his hospital bed. In the same room are his doctor, lawyer, wife, and kids. All of them kept waiting for his last breath, when all of a sudden the patient sits up, looks around and says:
- Assasins, thieves, ingrates, and scum!

Just like that, he lies back down.

The doctor, a bit confused, claims:
- I think he's doing better.

- Why do you say that, doctor?- Asks the confused wife.

- Cuz he recognized all of us.

posted by  Inygknok

Gotta love that last one lol :laughing:

posted by  99integra

I liked the cleaning kit ones. :laughing:

posted by  giant016

:orglaugh: :orglaugh: :orglaugh:
I'm going to have to borrow some of those...My favourite was the one about women making the few mistakes :orglaugh: Just a bit sexist...

posted by  chris_knows

I liked the first one the best. It reminded me of Ray's father on Everybody loves Raymond.

posted by  torinoman80

hehe glad u liked them, ill post a few more tomorrow morning which is when i have some free time here in the university. ill ask for a few feminist jokes from my gf just to be fair :thumbs:

ill try to get some feminist work jokes for chrisv's wife :mrgreen:

posted by  Inygknok

The first one is by far the best. Let's have some more...

posted by  ChromeDome

sorry that i didnt bring any feminist jokes today. gf was tired and i told her to go to sleep early yesterday and i finished working on the car at 8pm, so i went upstairs just to talk to her on the phone for a bit and went to sleep fast after shower and dinner.

ok just remembered one.

There were 3 prisoners, one brunette, one redhead, and a blonde. They were all being held for treason and were about to be executed.

Up first was the brunette. She was positioned in front of a firing squad. Then the CO (Commanding Officer) got ready to give the order to fire.

CO: Ready men? Ready! Aim!

Then the brunette interrups: Tornado! Up over there!

And as all the soldiers looked away, she escaped in the commotion.

So they brought up the redhead.

CO: Ok men, we'll get this one. Ready! Aim!

Redhead: Meteor!!

And again, another prisoner escaped

So finally, they bring the blonde.

CO: Ok. Enough. Ready! Aim!

Blonde: FIRE!

posted by  Inygknok

I've heard that one before but still :orglaugh: :orglaugh: :orglaugh:

posted by  chris_knows

found these on a site. ill simply copy and paste


Some Yugo fun...

How do you make a Yugo go faster?
A towtruck.

What do you call the shock absorbers inside a Yugo?
Passengers.

Two guys in a Yugo were arrested last night in Oakland following a push-by shooting incident.

The new Yugo has an air bag. When you sense an impending accident, start pumping real fast.

A friend went to a dealer the other day and said, "I'd like a gas cap for my Yugo." The dealer replied, "Okay. Sounds like a fair trade."

I have also said for years that the car is named because "Yugo, but it doesn't".

How can you get a Yugo to do 60 miles an hour?
Push it over a cliff

posted by  Inygknok

Good stuff :orglaugh: :orglaugh:

posted by  Sgt. Pepper

Your Message