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Q:What do you call an Irishman with a car on his head?..

posted by  Drwatson

Well let's get an Irish member of CF, have him put a car on his head, and we'll see what we call him :laughing:...probably something along the lines of:

'Dumb@ss, he's gonna kill himself' :laughing: JK

I seriously don't know though :doh:

posted by  chris_knows

Jack.

Old one, dude.

posted by  ChrisV

I know sry..
Btw im Irish.

posted by  Drwatson

We should have a joke thread in the off topic section. I'd be nice to loosen up in.

posted by  67Coronet383

Just to be sure, you are DR67 right?

posted by  Zalight

What do you call a guy with 8 rabbits down his pants?

What do you call a guy rolling around in a pile of dead leaves?

What do you call a guy with no limbs, in a pool?

posted by  windsonian

I've no clue about the others, but the first thing that comes to mind with this one is 'sperm' :laughing: Seriously though is it right?

posted by  chris_knows

nope.

posted by  windsonian

Warren
Russell
?

What do you call an Irishman with a shovel on his head?

posted by  Wally

found this in the newspaper the other day

an unbeleivable child abuse case was recently resolved. an 8 yr old boy was in court and the judge was deciding on what to do with him since his parents beat him severly.
the judge says "im going to award custody to your grandparents" and the 8yr old started crying and says " but they beat me more than my parents do" stunned the judge says " well i could place you with your aunt and uncle" still crying, the 8yr old says " but they beat me even more than my parents and my grandparents do." bewildered, the judge has to make a tough decision, so he places the 8yr old with the Minnesota Vikings cause they cant beat anybody. :screwy:

posted by  adamc44

Correct
Correct
Keep Trying

... dunno , digger? Paddy?

posted by  windsonian

Doug.

What do you call the same Irishman without a shovel on his head?

posted by  Wally

Bob.

Heard most of these, and the variations. ;)

posted by  ChrisV

im sure this will piss someone off but cmon boys, just a joke right?

In a train car there were a Canadian, an American, a spectacular looking blonde and a frightfully awful looking fat lady. After several minutes of the trip the train happens to pass through a dark tunnel, and the unmistakable sound of a slap is heard. When they leave the tunnel, the American had a big red slap mark on his cheek.

(1) The blonde thought - "That American son of a bitch wanted to
touch me and by mistake, he must have put his hand on the fat
lady, who in turn must have slapped his face."

(2) The fat lady thought - "This dirty old American laid his
hands on the blonde and she smacked him."


(3) The American thought - "That ****ing Canadian put his hand
on that blonde and by mistake she slapped me."


(4) The Canadian thought - "I hope there's another tunnel soon
so I can smack that stupid American again."

posted by  BanffAutoSpa_ap

A husband was in big trouble when he forgot their anniversary...
His wife told him, "Tomorrow there'd better be something in the driveway
for me that goes zero to 200 in 2 seconds flat".
The next morning the wife found a small package on the driveway...
When she opened the package, she found a brand new bathroom scale.
Funeral arrangements for the husband have been set for Saturday.

posted by  BanffAutoSpa_ap

Douglas.

What do you call a guy lying face down at your front door?

posted by  windsonian

Matt

Irish poofters Michael Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fitzmichael and their Scottish cousins Ben Doone and Phil MacCracken

posted by  Wally

How do you confuse an Irishman?

posted by  Wally

:laughing: :laughing: Ahhh thats a classic..amoung us Canadians anyway... :mrgreen:

posted by  Mathew

Give him 3 shovels tell him to take his pick.

posted by  windsonian

A Canadian and an American are seatd next to each other in an airport lounge at Toronto. The American turns to the Canadian, insincerely tells him how the people are wonderful and the country is a jewel. The Canadian turns to the American and says:

"I'm here to welcome my brother back after 50 years away in Calfornia. I haven't seen him since he left."

"Golly gee, I hope you can recognise him" says the American.

"I doubt very much I will after such a long time" says the Canadian

"How about your brother, will he be able to recognise you?" questions the American

"I'm certain he will" says the Canadian " I haven't been away at
all".

posted by  Wally

LMFAO...that was great!!! :orglaugh:

posted by  elchango36

Q:What do you call an Irishman with a seagull on his head
A:Cliff
And an irishman with a number plate?

A:Reg :mrgreen:

posted by  Drwatson

Yes, of course. :wink2:

posted by  67Coronet383

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