Why Vin Disesel is the Best, lol

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1. Vin Diesel once walked down the street with a massive erection. There were no survivors.

2. If you rearrange the letters in Vin Diesel it reveals his credo: "I End Lives."

3. There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Vin Diesel allows to live.

4. When Vin Diesel goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.

5. There is no "I" in team. There are two "I"s in Vin Diesel. f**k you, team.

6. In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Vin Diesel could use to kill you, including the room itself.

7. Vin Diesel has always been able to find Waldo, except for one time. He found himself stumped on the last page of Where's Waldo Now?, not being able to find the Waldo without a shoe. He threw the book down and screamed, "This is BULLSHIT!" They're all wearing shoes." He then proceeded to eat the book and exclaim, "IF I CAN'T FIND WALDO, THEN NO ONE CAN!" The book he ate belonged to a child that he had borrowed it from. The child began to cry and Vin ate him for good measure. The incident has since been refered to as Christmas.

8. Vin Diesel can win a game of Monopoly without owning any property.

9. Vin Diesel is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

10. Vin Diesel once beat Super Mario Bros 3 without even touching his Nintendo controller. He just yelled at his TV in between bites of his "Filet of Child" sandwich, and the game beat itself out of fear.

11. Vin Diesel is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.

12. When Vin Diesel was born, the nurse said, "Holy crap! That's Vin Diesel!" Then she had had sex with him. At that point, she was the third girl he had slept with.

13. Vin Diesel has two speeds: walk and kill.

14. When Vin Diesel jumps into a body of water, he doesn't get wet. The water gets Vin.

15. Vin Diesel played Russian Roulete with a fully loaded gun and won.

16. Vin Diesel can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

17. If you were to lock Vin Diesel in a room with a guitar, a year later you would have the greatest album ever, it would sweep the Grammy's. When asked why he doesn't do this Vin replied "Because Grammy's are for queers." then he ate a knife to show the seriousness of his response.

18. Vin Diesel coined the phrase, "I could eat a Horse" after he ate every last unicorn in existence.

19. Vin Diesel was the hunter who shot Bambi's Mother. He then wore her carcass like it was a coat while he made his rounds at the local children's hospital.

20. It takes 14 puppeteers to make Vin Diesel smile, but only 2 to make him destroy an orphanage.

21. Vin Diesel is not lactose intolerant, he just refuses to put up with lactose's shit.

22. On his birthday, Vin Diesel randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.

23. In fine print at on the last page of the Guiness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Vin Diesel, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone has ever come to matching him.

24. It takes Vin Diesel 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.

25. Vin Diesel's hair is too afraid of him to grow.

26. Vin Diesel can divide by zero.

27. When Vin Diesel does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.

28. Magnetic compasses do not point toward true North - they point in the direction of Vin Diesel. He just likes to sit on a lawn chair and shout, "Jackets are for pussies!" at the Acrtic researchers.

29. You are what you eat. That is why Vin Diesel's diet consists entirely of bricks, steel, and the tears of small children.

30. Vin Diesel once fought Chuck Norris and the whole world exploded. As they were the only two humans left, they had to fight again to see who would be the bitch. This fight is still going, meteorologists call it a "hurricane".


I'm bored. :laughing:

posted by  GreekWarrior

yeah, saw that and the Chuck Norris one, and the Mr T one...

posted by  ChrisV

:orglaugh: :orglaugh: :orglaugh:

ROFLMAO!! Nearly gave me a heart attack :laughing:...Actually most of those things are probably true :laughing:

posted by  chris_knows

yep, the link to that, the Mr.T, and Chuck Norris facts are in my AIM profile. hilarious stuff :laughing:

posted by  SuperJew

yes you were, but hey anyone who has the time to read all that has to be bored also, but its way worth it. pretty funny stuff

posted by  salimander13

Someone has a crush on Vin Diesel....

posted by  Mathew

im gonna be fully honest right now. im currently crying from all the laughter and i have an intense chest pain. i had to wake up at 5:30 after falling asleep at 2am for a test at 7am. then study for a spanish test at 11:30 which is tomorrow about 5 long ass essays. i was in such a bad mood until i read the damn vin diesel thing. i used to hate him, but now i cant help but laugh at him and not hate him.


anyone can link me to the mr t one?

posted by  Inygknok

here's for Mr.T: http://www.4q.cc/t/index.php?topthirty

and here's for Chuck Norris: http://www.4q.cc/chuck/index.php?topthirty

enjoy :laughing:

posted by  SuperJew

Somehow I don't find it funny...

posted by  67Coronet383

That's because you're a joyless person....

posted by  windsonian

There was an article in some paper about him being gay...not that theres anything wrong with that but its kinda cool how there a hunky gay man that stars in all of these action packed movies full of explosions. I wouldnt even have known because hes not the typical gay. Not flamboyant. :laughing:

posted by  newyorker

Yeah I definitely dunno where you heard that, The Enquirer maybe? :screwy:

posted by  Pythias

Glad to help. :thumbs:

posted by  GreekWarrior

Yea thats about right.

posted by  newyorker

LoL just cause your gay doesn't mean you have to go makin things up about people you believe are respected, so that it won't make you look so bad. Yeha there were also many rumors about Tom Cruise being gay, there are millions of rumors about any one superstar at one point in time. Guess they all must be true, huh genius? Seriously I thought you would have matured and learned in the time you have been here at CF but you still display the same ignorance level as before, whether its making dumb comments or assumptions about someone or something, or trying to flame someone for not knowing something you do (although this only happens once in a great while usually by some noob.) Grow up.

posted by  Pythias

Of course im gay. Of course I flame. Youre only the biggest idiot here. BTW the Most Wanted file has a virus in it you might want to uninstall it right away :thumbs:

posted by  newyorker

:laughing: :clap: and who doesn't agree with that?...thought so

posted by  95civicdima

Oh wow thanks for tellin me man? Lol you really are as stupid as I once thought you were. No wait, your definitely of lower intelligence than the 6000LE I once knew, I'd gladly take 5 oomba's over you anyday. At least they can come up with something smart to say, worth reading. In all honesty the fact that you have a brain is now in question. I guess maybe you think your short little ignorant 4-year old comments are witty adn are winning over some-kind of respect on this forum? I got knews for you it isn't. And of course you have been banned wat at least once maybe 2 times? And 3 different names that we know of? Could this possibly be because you spend nearly all your extra time dreaming about something a tiny bit faster than your pos neon? Or is it that this is the only place you can attempt to have friends? There are many ignorant and stupid people out there, but not all of them talk like they do know what they are talking about. If you were smart you'd get a clue and post when necessary and spend the other time reading factualy information to try to gain some knowledge or common sense about anything, which you have already shown you lack.

posted by  Pythias

I guess this site (http://www.nndb.com/people/791/000022725/) only fans the flames of doubt

posted by  Wally

Wow this thread when south for the winter....... (summer if you live in austraila). :laughing:

posted by  GreekWarrior

Wish I was living in Australia.... nice thread, got me to laugh :thumbs:

posted by  Voda48

HAHAHAHAHAHA FAG!

posted by  95civicdima

Why dont you crawl back into that little shithole you call a civic and try to drive it without breaking something :thumbs:

posted by  newyorker

And you wouldnt start stupid arguments when not needed. So youre saying that I make no neccesary posts at all? Check again.

posted by  newyorker

:screwy:

posted by  newyorker

is 3 posts in a row necessary?

posted by  Voda48

No, but is calling someone a FAG neccesary? I think not. I dont even see why the hell people are PMSing its just a rumor i heard in my ghetto school, i didnt say it was true.

posted by  newyorker

Is your sig necessary? I think not.

Did you ever stop to think that maybe it's your attitude that's the problem, not everyone else?

posted by  ChrisV

Whats wrong with my sig? And what is my attitude thats the problem? I simply said I heard a rumor some time back and people explode. This is so stupid.

posted by  newyorker

This from a man who has a Neon. :screwy:

posted by  giant016

Your attitude is confrontational, cocky, and arguing/insulting is your first response. Your current sig is a primary example, as it's not funny. The thread on the LHS was another example. The reason you were banned as 6000LE is a HUGE example.

Funny thing is you go around insulting people and things and then get all bent if someone does it to you (as in this thread.) THAT'S the attitude problem you have!

posted by  ChrisV

I insult with humor, I dont run around calling members fags.

posted by  newyorker

There is no humor in your sig pic, and the thread on the LHS was insulting the car with no humor. If I do a quick search I'd bet I can find hundreds of examples.

posted by  ChrisV

You mean insulting that black LHS I posted?

posted by  newyorker

I was just about to say something along those lines...just not "man" well said! OH! by the way how are the weight reductions (taking the backseats out) working for you? LOL! such a joke

posted by  95civicdima

Gee looks like I'm not alone, so look at the facts, smarten up or stfu. Simple as that, wanna know why you can't see the point of people making a big deal about this? Because your too ignorant to. Too close-minded, just simply too stupid. And just about everyone else DOES see that. Just thought I'd let you know. Wanna knwo wast else is hypocritical when I posted that guy going on a spiel about neons, yes it was mostly all fictional (except for some parts) and simply meant to be funny not offensive (UNLIKE the picture in your profile) and yet you posted a sarcastic comment... and I don't think anyone has posted anything about wats in your sig.... your just one ignorant sunofavbitch (btw... I misspelled it on purpose.. :thumbs: )

posted by  Pythias

:screwy:

posted by  99integra

HAHA!

posted by  torinoman80

I dont do it on here steve I do it through IM

posted by  newyorker

I had tp put them back in when I got my system done. Unlike you, I can afford one :thumbs:

posted by  newyorker

Yea you're right i can't afford it and you can :thumbs: ...but i do afford paying my car insurence :fu: and don't lie to my parents so they pay it :banghead: .

posted by  95civicdima

Damn Alex, he did get you there. :laughing:

posted by  Nissan_Altima

Yes lie to them. Considering that I dont work, but when I was I was paying my own.

posted by  newyorker

Il see you later tonight well have a talk :driving: :wink2:

posted by  newyorker

YEA TOTAL BULL!!! you said that you don't tell your parents how much you make so they pay your insurence. Ask Nissan_Altima, but either way you still lied and i'm just repeating what you said




Damn does everything that you always say have to be so homosexual? :laughing:

posted by  95civicdima

Considering that I quit my job thats complete BS. BTW I love how you base all of your arguments on 2 things. My "lies" and "homosexuality". Even if I was gay, would you be afraid of me stealing your guys?

posted by  newyorker

you guys sound like a bunch of idiots really, this sounds like a male "tea party" and someone needs a bitch slappin i think :umh:

posted by  BanffAutoSpa_ap

The civic needs a performance punch. :laughing:

posted by  newyorker

Wow, nice come-back? Seeing as how you r pushing wat? 115hp and 100 torque? And don't through the STOCK ratings at me. Your car has many miles on it, performance has decreased, and you used to be able to beat nissan altima in a race now and you cannot even achieve that. Yes your car is just as slow as his, and personally I'd take his over your neon anyday. :thumbs:

posted by  Pythias

150 horsepower 133 torque. 66.5k miles..reconsider that statement and do research before you pull numbers out of your ass.
P.S. I was never able to beat Nissan_Altima. He was always saying he would lose, and i told him otherwise so one magical night I jut raced him and he won. End of that argument. Only way that 95civicdima will win is because his transmission is "new" or so he was told. Then again he said something about a unique z-VTEC engine in his car, so I really dont know. I drove his car, and its just about as fast as mine.

posted by  newyorker

Think about how your car could have possibly been treated before you bought it with around 60k miles on it I believe. Think about what is getting to the WHEELS not the crank. Do research? It's a neon not much research i could prolly find except for some good jokes. And NO I CLEARLY remember you posting about hwo you were having loss of power and what you should be doing about it a tune up maybe. And NO I am not going to search through your various names to find which one started that thread. You are a liar in and out and I think everyone sees that now. Lie to your parents lie about most likely anything. I remember how your car also had TWO chips in it... LMFAO yes your are one ignorant liar.

posted by  Pythias

You wont search because you know im right. I never siad that I can beat his car. If you dont like my "lying" then do something about it huh?

posted by  newyorker

Wtf are you talking about did you even read my post? 155/133 is NOT what you are getting to the wheels STOCK, and ESPECIALLY not now after the mileage.

posted by  Pythias

OK...but the figures are there for a reason...and if im not getting my full power at the wheels, neither is Nissan_Altima or 95civic dima, so i dont see the point of your argument. If all cars lose power at the wheels, then there is basically a whole new comparison to be done.

posted by  newyorker

Regardless I'd put money on it that both of them are getting more power at the wheels. And yes the figures are there for when the car is about brand new, not 5k miles after, 25k miles, or 60k miles after.

posted by  Pythias

I know for a fact that nissanaltima got me in a race. and his cousin was in the car too (but she weighs like 100lbs) and my heater was on(not that big of a deal). as far as civicdima he has less power but a higher redline and a lighter body. The neon simply wasnt made with performance in mind. Neither was the Civic or Altima, but ive noticed that jap cars have more performance than others.

posted by  newyorker

Don't even get me started...i swear man you are so full of yourself it's almost disgusting... This is basically the major reason why i was so pissed at you to start with. You talk so much shit you can't even keep track of it anymore. ENOUGH OF THIS! Pythias i appreciate what you're saying and you kind of sticking up for me. My car isn't in the greatest shape. I never said my transmission was new it had under 15k on it when it was put into my car. The only thing to EVER break in my car by the way. When you drove my car you didn't accelerate at all. You didn't handle it how a car should be tested for performance. By the way my car kept up with yours plenty of times with ease. You can ask slio when we drove. My car gained almost 90 with 4 people in the car without too much extra pressure. So my opinion is it would beat it because alex won't stop ****ing with it. My car has a lot of miles on it 145K and it's 11 years old. Not the greatest car but for a starting car it is PERFECT.

posted by  95civicdima

I said it would be a pretty even match. Its not like im not giving you any credit. And i dindt drive your car like an asshole because I didnt want to hit anytinhg not knowing the car at all (dimentions and braking and acceleration). I specifically said that you have less power nad less weight I have more power nad more weight. Even when we were still friends I gave you credit for your car.

posted by  newyorker

Body...wanna feel my body?
Body...such a thrill my body
Body...wanna touch my body?
Body...it's too much my body
Check it out my body, body.
Don't you doubt my body, body.
talkin' bout my body, body,
check it out my body

Every man wants to be a macho macho man
to have the kind of body, always in demand
Jogging in the mornings, go man go
works out in the health spa, muscles glow
You can best believe that, he's a macho man
ready to get down with, anyone he can

Hey! Hey! Hey, hey, hey!
Macho, macho man (macho man)
I've got to be, a macho man
Macho, macho man
I've got to be a macho! Ow....

Macho, macho man
I've got to be, a macho man
Macho, macho man (yeah, yeah)
I've got to be a macho!

Body, its so hot, my body,
Body, love to pop my body,
Body, love to please my body,
Body, don't you tease my body,
Body, you'll adore my body,
Body, come explore my body,
Body, made by God, my body,
Body, it's so good, my body

You can tell a macho, he has a funky walk
his western shirts and leather, always look so boss
Funky with his body, he's a king
call him Mister Eagle, dig his chains
You can best believe that, he's a macho man
likes to be the leader, he never dresses grand

Hey! Hey! Hey, hey, hey!
Macho, macho man
I've got to be, a macho man
Macho, macho man
I've got to be a macho! (all right)

Macho, macho man (yeah, yeah)
I've got to be, a macho man
Macho, macho man
I've got to be a macho! All Right!

Ugh! Macho..baby!
Body, body, body wanna feel my body,
Body, body, body gonna thrill my body,
Body, body, body don'tcha stop my body,
Body, body, body it's so hot my body,

Every man ought to be a macho macho man,
To live a life of freedom, machos make a stand,
Have their own life style and ideals,
Possess the strength and confidence, life's a steal,
You can best believe that he's a macho man
He's a special person in anybody's land.

Hey! Hey! Hey, hey, hey!
Macho, macho man (macho man)
I've got to be, a macho man
Macho, macho man
I've got to be a macho! (dig the hair on my chest)

Macho, macho man (see my big thick mustache)
I've got to be, a macho man
Macho, macho man
I've got to be a macho! (Dig broad shoulders)

Macho, macho man (dig my muscles!)
I've got to be, a macho man
Macho, macho man
I've got to be a macho!

Macho, macho man
I've got to be, a macho man
Macho, macho man
I've got to be a macho! HEY!




Sorry got bored again lol. :laughing:

posted by  GreekWarrior

:orglaugh: :orglaugh:

Yeah...how much time do you have on your hands? :laughing:

posted by  chris_knows

I don't remember saying that........ :laughing:

posted by  GreekWarrior

Yes much credit and respect.

posted by  Pythias

This thread needs a lock.

posted by  Godlaus

Nah, a little more post whoring. :hi: :laughing:

posted by  GreekWarrior

Where you been?

posted by  Pythias

:stupid: :laughing:...but maybe just a bit more LoL.

posted by  chris_knows

Wasn't there a whole thread started about why you were banned. Someone started it when they saw "banned" under your name.

posted by  aerith

I think I vaguely remember it...But he never was banned, but had it as his name :laughing:

A quick search found nothing :doh:...

posted by  chris_knows

I tend to get that way when people are rude to me :2cents:

posted by  newyorker

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As suggested by a member...this thread is now closed.
.
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posted by  BavarianWheels

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