Cliffy, at the risk of offending others

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The British are feeling the pinch in relation to recent bombings, so the security level has just been raised from "Miffed" to "Peeved". Soon though, the levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross ".

Londoners haven't been a "Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorised from "Tiresome" to "A bloody nuisance"; the last time a "Bloody nuisance" warning level was issued was during the great fire in 1666.

The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide". The only two higher levels in France are "Surrender" and "Collaborate". The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralysing their military capability.

It's not only the French that are on a heightened level of alert, the Italians have increased their alert level from "Shout loudly and excitedly" to "Elaborate military posturing". Two more levels remain, "Ineffective combat operations" and "Change sides".

The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdainful arrogance" to "Dress in uniform and sing marching songs". They have two higher levels, "Invade a neighbour" and "Lose".

Seeing this reaction in continental Europe the Americans have gone from "Isolationism" to "Find another oil-rich Nation in the Middle East ripe for regime change". Their remaining higher alert states are "Attack the world" and "Beg the British for help".

Finally then there are the Australian security levels:

1. Normal: "Piss off, I'm watching the footy";

2. Elevated: "No overseas sporting teams are touring Australia, there must be something going on out there"

3. Alarmed: "What? Did someone say there's a fight on?" And the highest Aussie level of security Alert:

4. "I don't give a **** what it's about - if the Yanks are in, then we're not going to miss out!"........

The Kiwis are still too busy chasing their sheep to notice anything's amiss.

posted by  Wally

Hahaha that was hilarious....white flag factory, oh god thats great...

posted by  Mathew

:laughing: Thanks Wally, I needed that.

posted by  theman352001

Cheers for that Wally lol...great stuff....

Kinda gives me a heart attack everytime I see a new thread started with my name in the title, though lol....I'm so cross :laughing:

posted by  Cliffy

:orglaugh: :orglaugh: Good stuff :orglaugh: :orglaugh:

posted by  chris_knows

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