Fifteen Things to do at K-Mart while your spouse, partner, significant
other is taking his/her sweet time:
1. Get 24 boxes of condoms & randomly put them in people’s carts when they aren't looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks in housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor to the rest rooms.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3 in housewares,' and see what happens.
5. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay-by.
6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from the bedding department.
8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?
9. Look right into the security camera and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.
10. While handling knifes in the hunting department ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.
11. Dart around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the theme from mission Impossible'.
12. In the auto department practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.
13. Hide in the clothing rack and when people browse through say 'PICK ME! PICK ME!!!!!!'
14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker assume the foetal position and scream 'NO! NO! It's those voices again'.
And last but not least,
15. Go into a fitting room and yell real loudly ... 'Hey! We're out of toilet paper in here!'
Wow, I read this exact same joke about 6 years ago. :thumbs:
Good stuff! Man the first one and the last one are great. And we all know there are atleast a handful of dumbass's that actually do that stuff, which makes it even funnier.
Man thats some funny stuff. Good job. :smoke:
I'm going to try #4 later tonight, I'll tell ya'll what happens later :laughing:
LOL! Nice one.
Greek=pwnt by the rerepostness olden old stuff
I like #1, you pretty much can't get in trouble or kicked out, and you're garaunteed to embarass someone...
In my Kmart they are near the pharmacy section and there is always someone there. How odd is it if i get 12 boxes of condoms. :laughing:
I've never bought condoms at K-Mart, we haven't had K-Mart in about 10
years. I just substituted K-Mart for "The Real Canadian Superstore" or
But thanks for telling everyone that you know where the condoms are located, because now we know what a stud you are. Very smooth. :clap:
I buy them about twice a month or so so it kinda helps to know :thumbs:
Are you collecting them? Condoms aren't really a collectible item, just so you know. They won't go up in value. :laughing:
ROFL ROFL ROFL
ok ya, but is it sad if ive allready done a few of those, or at least close to those, before reading this?
those alarm clocks can be pretty loud
Na not for collecting purposes. More for entertainment with that certain someone. :wink2: . Sounds to me like you wouldnt know much about that. Im just waiting for Steven's input at this point
1. :fu: Dont be mad cause i get poon
2. Depends on how many times youve done them
ok, that just proves that you get none, poon? you gotta be kidding
and ya, i do the alarm one almost everytime im in there, my gf thinks im a retard
Shes right for thinking so. I said poon because its from the 40 year old
"I need some poooooooooooon" - Virgin :orglaugh:
he said poon and he was a 40 year old virgin, coincidence I think not...
:orglaugh: I'll try some of those in Wal-Mart, don't have K-Mart here either :laughing:
Im only 17 thought. I get my fair share of lovin :wink2:
It just wont be the same :laughing: :joking:
What, you make balloon animals with them? (or condom animals).
Your hand doesn't count bro. :thumbs:
OH SNAP :laughing:
Well I'm happy to say I don't know where the condoms are in K-Mart, I didn't even know they sell them. Not that I'd want to know.
Id love to say it right now, but I promised you that I wouldnt :laughing:
Are you Asexual? :banghead:
Do YOU know anyone with a gf that's asexual? I don't want to have sex untill I'm married, I'll never need a condom in my entire life.
Oh so youre one of THOSE. Do you even know how to put one on? Care to tell some of the more unexperienced users here *cough*Steve*cough*(
I've got a question...Is it true that if you don't use it, you lose it?
Guess Neonboy. :doh:
Is that a serious question? And I thought your name was Chris.
He was quoting 40 year old virgin. Oh yeah on the collecting part. I do have a coca cola flavored one i kept.
Don't even get me started
steve dont u have a gf?
have any of you been to college/university yet? you're not allowed to comment on sex until you've been....
Says who? Ive visited a few...
Yeah I do, thats why I can't stand these gay jokes
You refer to your imaginery girlfriend as poon? I hope she doesn't read this cause you deserve a bitch slap.
Who else agrees hes just saying this hoping someone will say it because HE doesnt know how to put one on?
Yeah well, I say good for you Jedi. Whenever I have talked to anyone who has done this (saved themselves till marriage) they ferel like they have done something special. :thumbs:
Should I really give you a step-by-step tutorial? It might be something new to you. :banghead:
ok NYer, its all good, we all believe you have gotten "poon".
However lacking in quality.
Hey Jedi, I don't think theres anything wrong with that. It's rare that you see guys who feel that way. I have alot of respect for them. Definitely more respect than guys who brag about getting laid. Usually the more they brag, the less their getting. This is just a girls opinion though. It may be different for guys.
sorry, double post
Its usually 6 times less than said. 6 means 1, 12 means 2, 30+ means none. :laughing:
Ohh... okay. I never realized there was a system to it.Haha
There is a system to everything. There are rules that every guy must obey.
It was in road trip I think. "Rules of Cheating".
By the way, how is that car search going? Im really interested. Did you see any of those sites I sent you?
I didn't remember that part in Road Trip, but then again I haven't seen it in a few years. The car search isn't going that great. I called today on a couple of cars and they already sold them. But I'll find something. I didn't ever get a message with the sites. I guess it didn't send for some reason.
ahhhh...how cute, look at new yorker showing "interest" and bieng nice to
the new chick on the forums.
Is funny :laughing:
Yea I actually have a heart to take interest in other peoples lives, not just give my 2 cents and never speak again. Il send that PM again.
cars are more important than sex... nice car leads to pretty girl, which then leads to a possible naked encounter ! :thumbs:
Dont worry about it. And dont worry about me and my girls. I get them because I respect them and know how to talk to them, and dont just try to get in their pants.
Ouch...My pride..It hurts. lol :laughing:
I know I have told Steve my story and why I am desensitized to women, and why I haven't had a serious relationship in a year and 2 days.
Why Steve? And maybe youre gay. That would explain going to Steve right away. :laughing: . Im kidding steve we know youre OK
Cause hes a chill guy.
The fact that you're trying to get with a girl over the internet proves to me, along with most of your other posts, that you aren't getting any at all. Its sad, really.
:wink2: Thanks bro
Im not trying to get with a girl from florida you ass. Just because you dont like women doenst mean that you have to try to insult everyone that does.
Whatchu sayin about women down here :ticking:
Yea steve you aint bad.
Reread what I said. Nothing they are sexy as hell.
Or maybe he's just trying to be nice. You sound jealous :thumbs:
i actually heard that list somewhere else, not sure where tho
Thank you :clap:
No, I dont need to be fake just because a girl is around.
Yea...youre a bad mother%$^#er. Im sure that gets you a LOT of girls. :banghead:
I hope your poon didn't read that, it might get jealous...
Sorry, but I had to laugh at that one.
Does it honestly matter who did what, who banged who, who used the vacuum for other purposes other than picking up dirt from the floor? Geez worry about your own poon not someone elses.
En serio bitches.
hahahah the vacuum....how about an oboe?(circa American Pie presents Band Camp)
I'll en serio all over you if you don't shut it. *Raises Ho-Slappin
lol, You just wanted an excuse to post up that link. :laughing:
yeaaaaaah pretty much. it was worth it though.
Funny...371 I got.
393 mph :smoke:...I guess I'm just a better pimp than you :laughing: JP
415 bitches what!?!?! MY PIMP IS STRONG SON!
i've gotten it up to 419 before....so eat my backhand.
Oh its on son.....Its on.
HAHAHAHA!!!! 419 what now?
425 hard to reach my next best was 410 then 402
God damnit.....You know what its all good.
Cause Its not how hard you can hit your hoe, but how often you have to. I keep my bitches straight so I dont have to beat they ass. They go out to the track and bring that money back to they daddy and dont give me no lip while doing it. So I aint gotta smack them.
haha, they way I keep ma behotches in check is I have one slapping ho and just hit her hard enough they all feel it.
can you say 450 bitches lol yea.....its hard bein a pimp aaaahhhhhh lol yea right im deff not gonna be like that eff that lol