Things I've Learnt From My Children, read & learn

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For those who already have children past this age, this is hilarious.

For those who have children at this age, this is not funny.

For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning.

For those who have not yet had children, this is a form of birth control!

The following came from an anonymous Mother in Austin, Texas "Things I've Learnt From My Children (honest & no kidding)"

1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 3 bedroom house 4 inches deep.

2. If you spray hair spray on a nylon duster and then run over it with roller skates / blades, they can ignite.

3. A 3-year olds voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a large room.

5. You should not throw balls up when the ceiling fan is on, using the ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can then hit a ball a long way.

6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a ball hit by a ceiling fan.

7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh," it's already too late.

8. Brake fluid mixed with Bleach makes smoke, and lots of it.

9. A six-year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old man says they can only do it in the movies.

10. Certain bits of Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old.

11. Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.

12. Super glue is forever.

13. No matter how much Jelly you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.

14. Pool filters do not like Jelly.

15. VCR's do not eject toasted sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.

16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

17. Marbles in petrol tanks make lots of noise when driving and very expensive to remove.

18. You probably do not want to know what that smell really is.

19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on. Plastic toys do not like ovens.

20. The average response time for the fire brigade is about 20 minutes.

21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.

22. It will, however, make cats dizzy.

23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

24. The mind of a 6-year old is a wonderful and amazing thing.

25. 60% of men who read this will try mixing the bleach and brake fluid.

posted by  GreekWarrior

:orglaugh: :orglaugh: :orglaugh:

BTW I will mix bleach and brake fluid :laughing:

posted by  chris_knows

funny. i remember doing a lot of that stuff when i was little.

posted by  glagon1979

:orglaugh: :orglaugh: :orglaugh:

Duuuude, that's AWESOME!!!

posted by  jedimario

Whoa.. it does work...................... j/p, but I am curious now :wink2:

posted by  car_crazy89

:orglaugh: LMFAO...Thanx for that, Greek:thumbs:

posted by  elchango36

bleach and brake fluid mixed together doesn't do crap except waste brake fluid

if you smash your toe, it will take your mind off of your other problems for a while tho.. try it, it really works

Johnny Mac

posted by  johnny mac

I hurt my toe yesterday while going up the stairs to the bathroom, and I'll tell you...peeing while struggling to stand up with a bad toe isn't very easy :laughing:

posted by  chris_knows

that is true...

did you know if you lose your big toe, you can not stand.

Johnny Mac

posted by  johnny mac

:laughing:...that's messed up.

posted by  chris_knows

Did you put the toilet seat up? :laughing:

posted by  GreekWarrior

I couldn't, I almost fell over without doing that :laughing:

posted by  chris_knows

Gee, I'll have to tell that to my friend who lost all of his toes on one foot... Yet still manages to play soccer, surf, and go deer hunting. He'll be interested to know that he can't do any of those things.


posted by  vwhobo

Cheers for that, Greek!'s all soooo true, too. Well, most of it anyway lol

posted by  Cliffy

:laughing: hahahaha lmao those were all funny as hell good job

posted by  mx3_monster

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