how to get out of a ticket

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A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange:

Officer: May I see your driver's license?
Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.

Officer: May I see the owner's card for this vehicle?
Driver: It's not my car. I stole it.

Officer: The car is stolen?
Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.

Officer: There's a gun in the glove box?
Driver: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.

Officer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?
Driver: Yes, sir.

Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation:

Captain: Sir, can I see your license?
Driver: Sure. Here it is.

It was valid.

Captain: Who's car is this?
Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the owner's card.

The driver owned the car.

Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there's a gun in it?
Driver: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it.

Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.

Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said there's a body in it.
Driver: No problem.

Trunk is opened; no body.

Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glovebox, and that there was a dead body in the trunk.

Driver: Yeah, I'll bet the lying s.o.b. told you I was speeding, too!

posted by  stevenbob0

thats great lol ive seen that before:laughing:

posted by  mx3_monster

Heard it before but still :orglaugh: :orglaugh:

posted by  chris_knows

Man!!!!!!!! every bodys heard it before

posted by  stevenbob0

my first time seeing it, pretty funny

posted by  nighthawk

I tried it with a cop I knew...he didnt think it was very funny,
County Sheriff no less :ohcrap: :doh: course he only pulled me over cause he knew it was me and because i was being a dumbass :mrgreen:

posted by  davsmitty

LOL:hi: :hi: :hi:

posted by  stevenbob0

Never seen it before. Funny, but would never work.

posted by  jedimario

Yup....another funny one lol.....that I hadn't seen till now. I knew what the ending was gonna be like halfway through though lol

posted by  Cliffy

How freaky is this....I just heard that exact same joke on the radio earlier on.....I'd never heard it till I read this thread, then I hear it again lol :ticking:

posted by  Cliffy

Maybe Stevenbob0 is actually a British radio announcer guy, pretending to live in Illinois :laughing:

posted by  chris_knows

http://www.mega.bz/ROTFL/joke.mgi?id=56

http://www.spiceisle.com/cgi-bin/talkrec.cgi?submit=lt&fid=f5&msg_num=2242< br />
http://www.randomjoke.com/topic/haha.php?88124

http://www.wordwizard.com/newnav/chforum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=18161

http://www.angelfire.com/nt/prince/officer.html

http://www.jr.co.il/humor/ticket.txt

http://www.csua.berkeley.edu/~ranga/humor/dui.txt

:roll:

posted by  vwhobo

How did you guys know. lol:hi: :joking:

posted by  stevenbob0

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