Swearing At Work

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Dear Employees,

It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals
throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of
normal conversation with their co-workers. Due to complaints received from
some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will no
longer be tolerated.

We do, however, realise the critical importance of being able to
accurately express your feelings when communicating with co-workers.

Therefore, a list of 18 New and Innovative "TRY SAYING" phrases have been
provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in
an effective manner.

1) TRY SAYING: I think you could use more training.
INSTEAD OF: You don't know what the f___ you're doing.

2) TRY SAYING: She's an aggressive go-getter.
INSTEAD OF: She's a f___ing bit__.

3) TRY SAYING: Perhaps I can work late.
INSTEAD OF: And when the f___ do you expect me to do this?

4) TRY SAYING: I'm certain that isn't feasible.
INSTEAD OF: No f___ing way.

5) TRY SAYING: Really?
INSTEAD OF: You've got to be sh___ing me!

6) TRY SAYING: Perhaps you should check with...
INSTEAD OF: Tell someone who gives a sh__.

7) TRY SAYING: I wasn't involved in the project.
INSTEAD OF: It's not my f___ing problem.

8) TRY SAYING: That's interesting.
INSTEAD OF: What the f___?

9) TRY SAYING: I'm not sure this can be implemented.
INSTEAD OF: This sh__ won't work.

10) TRY SAYING: I'll try to schedule that.
INSTEAD OF: Why the f___ didn't you tell me sooner?

11) TRY SAYING: He's not familiar with the issues.
INSTEAD OF: He's got his head up his a__.

12) TRY SAYING: Excuse me, sir?
INSTEAD OF: Eat sh__ and die.

13) TRY SAYING: So you weren't happy with it?
INSTEAD OF: Kiss my a__.

14) TRY SAYING: I'm a bit overloaded at the moment.
INSTEAD OF: F__ it, I'm on salary.

15) TRY SAYING: I don't think you understand.
INSTEAD OF: Shove it up your a__.

16) TRY SAYING: I love a challenge.
INSTEAD OF: This f___ing job sucks.

17) TRY SAYING: You want me to take care of that?
INSTEAD OF: Who the f___ died and made you boss?

18) TRY SAYING: He's somewhat insensitive.
INSTEAD OF: He's a pr_ck.

Thank You,

Human Resources


posted by  GreekWarrior

:orglaugh: Nice one GW!!!!

posted by  elchango36

Haha that was good. At this one warehouse I worked at, there were a lot of older female employees, and they were offended easily, so they changed "Mother F*cker" to "Mother F". People actually said that during the course of the day.

At my job, people regularly use all of the regular words, as well as "cunt", "twat", etc etc.

posted by  Mathew

i work at a salvage yard. can you imagine what gets said around here?

posted by  glagon1979

I work where it's too loud to hear what you say if you just say it at a regular voice. So if I get mad I just let the words fly:thumbs:

posted by  Spanky2324

:orglaugh: :orglaugh: Those were awesome lol

posted by  chris_knows

Where I work, one of the divisions was warned by the client (a council), about their language lol....and porn on their mobile phones hehe. In most of our industries here at CF I guess swearing is a way of life, what with most of us/you guys in the motor trade (male orientated). It sure was when I was in it. Even now, in the Security Industry it's the same...male orientated 'n all.

Nice find though GW, Copy/Paste? :laughing:

posted by  Cliffy

Haha, well I do Co-op at a garage, and that's all they do is swear and joke and make fun of us Co-op kids lol... so in turn when can do all the same also :wink2:

Just got to remember to keep it for when no customers are there... or you're atleast quiet with it lol.

posted by  car_crazy89

I work at a christain school and I actualy realize no that when they just say sorry can't help you wih that instead of f___ off so hmmmm.
In fact im at work right now on the clock on carforums gotta love 14 hour days.

posted by  Aondor

I don't think it's got anything to do with males, most of the employees in my department at work are female, and just about everyone curses like it's nothing.

posted by  jedimario

You know I do, I don't have the time or effort to type long posts. :laughing:

posted by  GreekWarrior

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