My Pussy Hurts!

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So yeah, the following is an updateon the condition of my pussy. Lance (the Pussy) is my cat, he is a little over 2 years old now and I got him this fall from the Humane Society. Here is the Thread (

So anyways, I was in Milwaukee helping my family move my Grandparents stuff out of their old house, brought the trouble maker with me. The story goes as this:

We woke up early, so it was midnight and I was going to pass out. My mother was in the other room sorting through some stuff still with the cat, I was in the next room over about to fall asleep. We had the box spring from one of the beds postioned against the wall when mister Lance decided he was going to climb up it. My mom yell for me to get my cat, at which point I wanted to tell her to F off ( I was really tired, but I kinda wish I had) So I get up and the following happend. Lance was climbing up the box spring which began to fall backwards on him, so he bolts off of it and runs (he knows he was in trouble) Now my house in Iowa City has wood floor, wood floors = shit for traction for a cat. Here however, my grandma has carpeted floors, the cat move at the speed of sound, I kid you not. so I was not really awake and walking to the room, Lance was moving at 708 mph (or whatever the speed of sound is) and runs right into me. I hear a crack and he moans and trys to pull free but I was standing on his foot. I rest, well it is history. He has 2 broken bones and now has a splint for 6-8 weeks. It is a shame, he is such an active cat, and he has to be lazy now for the duration of his medical recovery.

So yeah, I feel kind of bad joking about it (Well not that bad) but he is like a pirate now, walking around the house. the hard wood floors make it sound like he has a peg leg, which of course now has added just one more nickname to the list, Lance the Peg-Legged pirate.

posted by  Voda48
"Mini-me no, We don't naw on our kitty!"


Sorry to hear that dude, I hope Lance has a wonderful recovery.:thumbs:

posted by  elchango36

Sorry to hear about the cat :ohcrap:

I thought I was gonna have a thread to delete when I saw it's title on the Forum index lol

posted by  Cliffy

LOL I did that just for you cliffy!

posted by  Voda48

There's nothing better than pussy that can't run away from you. :wink2:

P.S. I hope Lance gets better real soon. :thumbs:

posted by  vwhobo

Yeah I thought this thread was about something else too but glad to hear he's okay :thumbs:

posted by  chris_knows

And I was wondering how you could've missed a thread to delete with a title like that. lol

Sry about your cat man. Hope Lance gets better soon. (He's named after Lance Armstrong isn't he?)

posted by  Satty101

Actualy he was named that already, think that is why everything just fell into place after meeting him. But yes everyone thinks I named him Lance after Armstrong. :banghead:

posted by  Voda48

Aww, poor little cat. Thats ok though, I'm sure as a cat he won't have any trouble adjusting to laying around all day :thumbs:

My girlfriend's cat Denver got in a fight with another cat once, and when we came home we found he had a big huge gash in his neck. (Oddly enough, he didn't seem to care). So we took him to the vet and they had to shave almost one whole side of his neck and stitch it up, then he had to wear a lampshade for like 2 weeks. It was the cutest thing in a really sad way. He didn't know what the hell was going on. Plus he kept missing things whenever trying to jump up the furniture, because his field of vision was like 45 degrees either side.

posted by  Mathew

Sorry about your pussy, Greg, hope it gets better soon!

posted by  jedimario

Poor cat ... I like cats, other guys tell me it's weird but I like cats and hate dogs. My cat weighs like 25 lbs and he chases my sisters Jack Russel. It is the funniest thing to see and makes her freaking hysterical, ha ha ...

posted by  musclecarneon

I like the Jack Russels, they are like might dogs. Lots of spunk (usually)

posted by  Voda48

Heres a picture of our little Denver the lamp. Show it to Lance and it might make him feel better.

posted by  Mathew

lol I know this is horrible of me, but it always brings a smile to my face to see a dog/cat with one of those on. I mean I feel bad, but they look hilarious. How is he getting along now? anymore fights?

posted by  Voda48

Well he's just as rowdy as usual, but I haven't seen any battle scars lately.

Basically his typical day is sleep 8 hours, move to another spot, sleep 6 hours, go outside and wreak havoc for 3 hours, come back in and sleep for 7 hours, have dinner (in no particular order). Its amazing that he is a very fit cat, considering how much he sleeps, but I guess cats can get away with it.

posted by  Mathew

What's the latest update on your peg legged cat?

posted by  vwhobo

Yesterday morning I came home only to find my cat had "magically" taken off his cast. I was a lttle suprised to say the least... and a little mad ( last time it was $120 to get it rewrapped with a booster shot) but I was going back home to Madison so I had my mother set schedule a vet appointment where it was set again. Troublesome cat..... He also wears a cut off sock duct-tapped (sp?) due to an incident that he had. Apparently wet food give him the shits, needless to say his bandage is a sticky, you do the math. He now had apeg leg that is muted due to the sock, and he slips all over the place. Kind of funny actualy.

posted by  Voda48

Now wrap his other paws in masking tape and see what happens:orglaugh:

posted by  Satty101

So The Latest update....

Lance got the splint off yesterday and was given a clean bill of health. He has been up to the same old lately, sleeping, meowing, and being an ordinary cat. He is still using three legs, getting used to the change and building muscle back in that forth leg will take a while, but I think he will do just fine.

posted by  Voda48

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