[rant]Mushrooms...only they could do this.

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Does anyone else find strange that our culture celebrates the holidays through the belief and practice that setting up a display of the sodomization of an effigy of an angel with a small pine tree turned phallus (http://userpages.umbc.edu/~braman1/Webpage%20Photos/2000%20Christmas%20Tre e.JPG), and the decoration thereof, will evoke a fat man in a red jumpsuit (http://www.skipressworld.com/images/daily_news/2005/12/ski%20press%20-%20s anta.jpg), who's race (http://www.pzg.biz/santa_black.jpg), and sometimes gender (http://laughingsquid.com/pix/2002_12/santas_black_market/image/img_4271.jp g), is often in question, to come down their chimney and deliver shiney boxes with items of a whimsical, laudable, and horrificlly useless nature. Moreso, the more these items reflect this nature, the more prized the items tend to be (http://www.playstation-blog.net/wp-content/images/ps3_small.jpg). What confounds me even more, is that this belief and occurance happens once a year, on a specific time, and a specific date during the dead of winter; the time period most difficult for such a jumpsuit clad fat man to come through a show-filled and ice-slickened roof. By now you'd figure he'd have killed himself but apparently this masochist is still kicking and whatsmore, he posesses technology far in advance of our own. Strangly enough, it is named after a religous icon named Jesus Christ; Christmas! and used as a celebration of the birth of said religous icon.

Or mabye the idea that a single rabbit, the size of a man no less (http://members.petfinder.org/~NY71/Easter%20bunny%2005%20white%20dog.jpg), will hide small candy-filled eggs around people's homes which it supposedly creates in some god-auful way most likely by laying them, as a celebration of the death and rebirth of the same religous icon?

Henceforth, these strange people also have family reunions annually through the celebration of a feast they once had with some sultry indian savages (http://www.io.com/unigames/gallery/savage.JPG), which they consequently slaughtered by the thousands through disease and superior firepower and entombed in squalorous camps. Year by year these camps grow in their squalorousness (http://www.ontheroadin.com/nevada/Riviera%20Las%20Vegas.jpg) and their ability to beed and destroy idiots like some god forsaken meatpacking plant! For some reason they enjoy acts of cruelty, and celebrate it by eating a specific bird, a fowl if you will, at a specific time of the year!

I would enjoy the knowledge, greatly mind you, of both who came up with such whimsical ideas, and what they were on at the time. I would enjoy this information so I can avoid these most henious drugs and those most strangly extravagant rabble.

Posthaste internet! I expect an explination within a fortnight!

[/rant]

posted by  Gwokable

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