"Chav" jokes...

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I was emailed these today and thought I'd share them. I also thought they deserved their own thread, rather than putting them in the randon thread as they literally had me in tears..:laughing:

Q. What's the difference between a chav and a coconut?

A. one's thick and hairy, the other's a coconut.

Q. Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins?

A. Society.

Q. What does a chav girl use as protection during sex?

A. A bus shelter.

Q. What do you call a 30 year old chav girl?

A. Granny.

Q. What do you call a chav in a box?

A. Innit.

Q. What do you call a chav in a locked box?

A. Safe, innit.

Q. What do you call a chav in a filing cabinet?

A. Sorted.

Q. What do you call a chav in a suit

A. The defendant.

Q. Why did the chav cross the road?

A. To start a fight with a complete stranger for no reason

Q. What do you call a chav girl in a white tracksuit?

A. The bride.

Q. If you see a chav on a bike why should you try not to hit him?

A. It might be your bike.

Q. What's the first question during a chav quiz night?

A. What you looking at.

Q. Why are chavs like slinkey's?

A. They have no real use but it's great to watch one fall down a
flight of stairs

Q. Two chavs in a car without any music, who's driving?

A. The policeman!

Q. How do you get a hundred chavs in a phonebox?

A. Paint 3 stripes on it.

Q. What do you call a hundred chavs at the bottom of the river?

A. A start.

Q. Where do you take a chav girl for a decent night out?

A. Up the a*se.

Q. Why is 3 chavs going over a cliff in a Vauxhall Nova a shame?

A. Because a Nova has 4 seats.

Q. What do you call a chav with 9 GCSE's?

A. A liar.

Q. What do you say to a chav with a job?

A. Bigmac please.

Q. What's the difference between a chav boy and a chav girl?

A. A chav girl has a higher sperm count.

posted by  Cliffy

Are you in competition with slurm6969 now?

posted by  vwhobo

I was gonna put a sly comment in this thread about that, but decided not to...Hey, if slurm can come up wit classics like that on a weekly basis, he'd have reason for a sticky! :laughing:

posted by  Cliffy

You do realize that most people on this forum have no idea what a Chav is... Don't you?

posted by  vwhobo

I thought it was a British ricer, but after reading those jokes, I think it's a British person who lives in the ghetto lol.

BTW Nice jokes, albeit some were a bit confusing lol.

posted by  chris_knows


posted by  vwhobo

It did cross my mind, but there's been quite a few refferences to the "chavs" from people like me an True_Brit that I didn't bother explaining the meaning. Chris summed it up nicely though....although the term as I see it refers more to them being our equivelent of ricers, with it being more used to describe our general "layabout" society these days....:thumbs:

Edit: Hobo, love the website....that answers all the quetions, acuratelly! lol

posted by  Cliffy

Gotcha...So I was kinda right with both, but still pretty far off lol.

posted by  chris_knows

Not really....you got the gist of it :laughing:

By the way, love the new avater, hobo! :laughing:

posted by  Cliffy

What's the most confusing day of the year for a Chav?
Fathers Day!

How do you start an argument with a chav?

What do you call a chav in a tastfully decorated house?
The burglar.

What do you call an Eskimo Chav?

What do you call a large group of chavs decending on somewhere (a pub for instance)?
A Chavalanche

What do you call a chav with half a brain?

What happens to a thought in a chavs head?
It dies of loneliness !!

Why do Chavs always travel around in pairs?
One can read and one can write!

What do you do if you run over a chav?
Reverse just to make sure

Whats a Chavs favourite car?
One without an alarm.

posted by  True_Brit

I've got one right here (http://www.car-forums.com/talk/showthread.php?p=231663#post231663).

posted by  vwhobo

thats quite subtle compared to the civics floating round here!
(saw one totally smashed on the back of a flatbed truck!:laughing: )
nice sig pic by the way!

posted by  True_Brit

LOL those were really good. Where did you get them?

posted by  Bronxie

just google chav jokes!

posted by  True_Brit

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