do u wipe , standing or sitting?

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just a fun question to ask
i hope u dont say slide down the handlebar of the stairs

posted by  gadydabest

You need more to do with your time. Let's see who I can offend with this!

Two strangers were seated next to each other on the plane when the guy turned to the beautiful blonde and made his move by saying, "Let's talk. I've heard that flights will go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."
The blonde, who had just opened her book, closed it slowly, and said to the guy, "What would you like to discuss?"
"Oh, I don't know," said the player. "How about nuclear power?"
"OK," said the blonde. "That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first."
"A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat grass. The same stuff. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?"
"Oh brother," said the guy. "I have no idea."
"Well, then," said the blonde, "How is it that you feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know shit?"

posted by  vwhobo

thats pretty funny, not real offensive, but funny.

posted by  Mr. Horsepower

Maybe this will be more to your liking.

A blonde teenage girl comes home from school and asks her mother, "Is it true what Rita just told me... babies come out of the same place where boys put their thingies?"

"Yes, dear," replies her mother, pleased that the subject had finally come up, and she wouldn't have to explain it to her daughter.

"But then when I have a baby," responded the blonde teenager, "won't it knock my teeth out?"

posted by  vwhobo

Haha, thats a good one too. Hey, if your trying to offend me, im a 16 year old adolescent, sex jokes arent going to do it. But you shuld keep em coming, theyre pretty good!

posted by  Mr. Horsepower

The father was distressed with his thirteen-year old son's preoccupation with breasts. The boy would repeatedly point to attractive girls and whisper: "Hey, Dad, look at the knockers on that one!"

The father finally took the boy to a psychiatrist, who assured him that just one day's intensive therapy could cure the boy. When the session was over, father and son walked several blocks to a bus stop. The boy remained silent as they passed a number of pretty girls.

As they boarded the bus, the father was inwardly complimenting the psychiatrist. Then his son tugged at his sleeve and whispered: "Hey, Dad, look at the ass on the bus driver!"

posted by  vwhobo

Sunday School
The Sunday school teacher was speaking to her class one Sunday morning and she asked the question, "When you die and go to Heaven, which part of your body goes first?"

Suzie raised her hand and said, "I think it's your hands."

"Why do you think it's your hands, Suzie?"

Suzie replied, "...Because when you pray, you hold your hands together in front of you and God just takes your hands first!"

"What a wonderful answer!" the teacher said.

Tommy raised his hand and said, "Teacher, I think it's your legs".

The teacher looked at him with the strangest look on her face. "Now, Tommy, why do you think it would be your legs?"

Tommy said, "Well, I walked into Mommy and Daddy's bedroom the other night, Mommy had her legs straight up in the air and she was going, 'Oh God, I'm coming!' If Dad hadn't had her pinned down, we'd have lost her."

posted by  57ock

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