I'd say my favorite quotes are from movies likes Tommy Boy, Dumb & Dumber and such. There are so many quotes I say, I can't even remember them all. They all have a time and a place in a conversation though.
Some others though:
-- The road to a friends house is never long --
-- If I were you, and you were me, would I do you? --
-- Every time I walk into a singles bar I can always hear Mom's wise words: don't pick that up - you don't know where it's been! --