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Old 01-20-2007, 04:04 AM   #1
Cliffy
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"Chav" jokes...

I was emailed these today and thought I'd share them. I also thought they deserved their own thread, rather than putting them in the randon thread as they literally had me in tears..

Q. What's the difference between a chav and a coconut?

A. one's thick and hairy, the other's a coconut.


Q. Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins?

A. Society.


Q. What does a chav girl use as protection during sex?

A. A bus shelter.


Q. What do you call a 30 year old chav girl?

A. Granny.


Q. What do you call a chav in a box?

A. Innit.


Q. What do you call a chav in a locked box?

A. Safe, innit.


Q. What do you call a chav in a filing cabinet?

A. Sorted.


Q. What do you call a chav in a suit

A. The defendant.


Q. Why did the chav cross the road?

A. To start a fight with a complete stranger for no reason
whatsoever.


Q. What do you call a chav girl in a white tracksuit?

A. The bride.


Q. If you see a chav on a bike why should you try not to hit him?

A. It might be your bike.


Q. What's the first question during a chav quiz night?

A. What you looking at.


Q. Why are chavs like slinkey's?

A. They have no real use but it's great to watch one fall down a
flight of stairs


Q. Two chavs in a car without any music, who's driving?

A. The policeman!


Q. How do you get a hundred chavs in a phonebox?

A. Paint 3 stripes on it.


Q. What do you call a hundred chavs at the bottom of the river?

A. A start.


Q. Where do you take a chav girl for a decent night out?

A. Up the a*se.


Q. Why is 3 chavs going over a cliff in a Vauxhall Nova a shame?

A. Because a Nova has 4 seats.


Q. What do you call a chav with 9 GCSE's?

A. A liar.


Q. What do you say to a chav with a job?

A. Bigmac please.


Q. What's the difference between a chav boy and a chav girl?

A. A chav girl has a higher sperm count.
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Old 01-20-2007, 04:19 AM   #2
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Are you in competition with slurm6969 now?
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Old 01-20-2007, 04:25 AM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by vwhobo
Are you in competition with slurm6969 now?
I was gonna put a sly comment in this thread about that, but decided not to...Hey, if slurm can come up wit classics like that on a weekly basis, he'd have reason for a sticky!
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Old 01-20-2007, 04:29 AM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cliffy
I was gonna put a sly comment in this thread about that, but decided not to...Hey, if slurm can come up wit classics like that on a weekly basis, he'd have reason for a sticky!
You do realize that most people on this forum have no idea what a Chav is... Don't you?
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Old 01-20-2007, 04:32 AM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by vwhobo
You do realize that most people on this forum have no idea what a Chav is... Don't you?
I thought it was a British ricer, but after reading those jokes, I think it's a British person who lives in the ghetto lol.

BTW Nice jokes, albeit some were a bit confusing lol.
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Old 01-20-2007, 04:35 AM   #6
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http://www.chavscum.com/culture.php
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Thanks for the pic, jedimario.

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Old 01-20-2007, 04:37 AM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by vwhobo
You do realize that most people on this forum have no idea what a Chav is... Don't you?
It did cross my mind, but there's been quite a few refferences to the "chavs" from people like me an True_Brit that I didn't bother explaining the meaning. Chris summed it up nicely though....although the term as I see it refers more to them being our equivelent of ricers, with it being more used to describe our general "layabout" society these days....

Edit: Hobo, love the website....that answers all the quetions, acuratelly! lol
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Last edited by Cliffy : 01-20-2007 at 04:39 AM.
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Old 01-20-2007, 04:40 AM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by vwhobo
Gotcha...So I was kinda right with both, but still pretty far off lol.
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Old 01-20-2007, 04:48 AM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by chris_knows
Gotcha...So I was kinda right with both, but still pretty far off lol.
Not really....you got the gist of it

By the way, love the new avater, hobo!
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Old 01-20-2007, 09:54 AM   #10
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What's the most confusing day of the year for a Chav?
Fathers Day!

How do you start an argument with a chav?
Speak!

What do you call a chav in a tastfully decorated house?
The burglar.

What do you call an Eskimo Chav?
Innuinnit.

What do you call a large group of chavs decending on somewhere (a pub for instance)?
A Chavalanche

What do you call a chav with half a brain?
Gifted.

What happens to a thought in a chavs head?
It dies of loneliness !!

Why do Chavs always travel around in pairs?
One can read and one can write!

What do you do if you run over a chav?
Reverse just to make sure

Whats a Chavs favourite car?
One without an alarm.
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Old 01-22-2007, 12:01 AM   #11
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I've got one right here.
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Old 01-22-2007, 02:41 AM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by vwhobo
I've got one right here.
thats quite subtle compared to the civics floating round here!
(saw one totally smashed on the back of a flatbed truck! )
nice sig pic by the way!
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Old 01-22-2007, 07:45 PM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by True_Brit
What's the most confusing day of the year for a Chav?
Fathers Day!

How do you start an argument with a chav?
Speak!

What do you call a chav in a tastfully decorated house?
The burglar.

What do you call an Eskimo Chav?
Innuinnit.

What do you call a large group of chavs decending on somewhere (a pub for instance)?
A Chavalanche

What do you call a chav with half a brain?
Gifted.

What happens to a thought in a chavs head?
It dies of loneliness !!

Why do Chavs always travel around in pairs?
One can read and one can write!

What do you do if you run over a chav?
Reverse just to make sure

Whats a Chavs favourite car?
One without an alarm.


LOL those were really good. Where did you get them?
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Old 01-23-2007, 12:08 AM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bronxie
LOL those were really good. Where did you get them?
just google chav jokes!
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