Car Forums  

Go Back   Car Forums > General Discussions > Off Topic
FAQ Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Old 12-06-2005, 10:58 PM   #1
GreekWarrior
CF Extraordinaire
 
GreekWarrior's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: "Down-under"
Posts: 2,369
Why Vin Disesel is the Best, lol

1. Vin Diesel once walked down the street with a massive erection. There were no survivors.

2. If you rearrange the letters in Vin Diesel it reveals his credo: "I End Lives."

3. There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Vin Diesel allows to live.

4. When Vin Diesel goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.

5. There is no "I" in team. There are two "I"s in Vin Diesel. f**k you, team.

6. In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Vin Diesel could use to kill you, including the room itself.

7. Vin Diesel has always been able to find Waldo, except for one time. He found himself stumped on the last page of Where's Waldo Now?, not being able to find the Waldo without a shoe. He threw the book down and screamed, "This is BULLSHIT!" They're all wearing shoes." He then proceeded to eat the book and exclaim, "IF I CAN'T FIND WALDO, THEN NO ONE CAN!" The book he ate belonged to a child that he had borrowed it from. The child began to cry and Vin ate him for good measure. The incident has since been refered to as Christmas.

8. Vin Diesel can win a game of Monopoly without owning any property.

9. Vin Diesel is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

10. Vin Diesel once beat Super Mario Bros 3 without even touching his Nintendo controller. He just yelled at his TV in between bites of his "Filet of Child" sandwich, and the game beat itself out of fear.

11. Vin Diesel is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.

12. When Vin Diesel was born, the nurse said, "Holy crap! That's Vin Diesel!" Then she had had sex with him. At that point, she was the third girl he had slept with.

13. Vin Diesel has two speeds: walk and kill.

14. When Vin Diesel jumps into a body of water, he doesn't get wet. The water gets Vin.

15. Vin Diesel played Russian Roulete with a fully loaded gun and won.

16. Vin Diesel can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

17. If you were to lock Vin Diesel in a room with a guitar, a year later you would have the greatest album ever, it would sweep the Grammy's. When asked why he doesn't do this Vin replied "Because Grammy's are for queers." then he ate a knife to show the seriousness of his response.

18. Vin Diesel coined the phrase, "I could eat a Horse" after he ate every last unicorn in existence.

19. Vin Diesel was the hunter who shot Bambi's Mother. He then wore her carcass like it was a coat while he made his rounds at the local children's hospital.

20. It takes 14 puppeteers to make Vin Diesel smile, but only 2 to make him destroy an orphanage.

21. Vin Diesel is not lactose intolerant, he just refuses to put up with lactose's shit.

22. On his birthday, Vin Diesel randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.

23. In fine print at on the last page of the Guiness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Vin Diesel, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone has ever come to matching him.

24. It takes Vin Diesel 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.

25. Vin Diesel's hair is too afraid of him to grow.

26. Vin Diesel can divide by zero.

27. When Vin Diesel does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.

28. Magnetic compasses do not point toward true North - they point in the direction of Vin Diesel. He just likes to sit on a lawn chair and shout, "Jackets are for pussies!" at the Acrtic researchers.

29. You are what you eat. That is why Vin Diesel's diet consists entirely of bricks, steel, and the tears of small children.

30. Vin Diesel once fought Chuck Norris and the whole world exploded. As they were the only two humans left, they had to fight again to see who would be the bitch. This fight is still going, meteorologists call it a "hurricane".


I'm bored.
__________________

GreekWarrior is offline  
Old 12-06-2005, 11:15 PM   #2
ChrisV
The Big Meaney
 
ChrisV's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: People's Republic of Maryland
Posts: 3,714
yeah, saw that and the Chuck Norris one, and the Mr T one...
__________________
I'm not mean. You're just a wuss.



www.midatlantic7s.com
ChrisV is offline  
Old 12-07-2005, 01:21 AM   #3
chris_knows
๑۩۞
 
chris_knows's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Ontario, Canada Status:Trying to find my ish
Posts: 7,630


ROFLMAO!! Nearly gave me a heart attack ...Actually most of those things are probably true
__________________
chris_knows is offline  
Old 12-07-2005, 02:23 AM   #4
SuperJew
I like pie.
 
SuperJew's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Suburbia Central, New York
Posts: 2,584
yep, the link to that, the Mr.T, and Chuck Norris facts are in my AIM profile. hilarious stuff
__________________


CF's Resident Pimp Slapper

Pimp Slap Count (as of 30 May 2004): 34
SuperJew is offline  
Old 12-07-2005, 02:53 AM   #5
salimander13
Teach me, I'm learning
 
salimander13's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: southern cali
Posts: 1,072
Quote:
Originally Posted by GreekWarrior
I'm bored.

yes you were, but hey anyone who has the time to read all that has to be bored also, but its way worth it. pretty funny stuff
__________________
salimander13 is offline  
Old 12-07-2005, 04:01 AM   #6
Mathew
-BMW 3rd Year Apprentice-
 
Mathew's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Vancouver, BC
Posts: 2,053
Someone has a crush on Vin Diesel....
__________________
Mathew is offline  
Old 12-07-2005, 02:20 PM   #7
Inygknok
El del Supra
 
Inygknok's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Puerto Rico
Posts: 1,863
im gonna be fully honest right now. im currently crying from all the laughter and i have an intense chest pain. i had to wake up at 5:30 after falling asleep at 2am for a test at 7am. then study for a spanish test at 11:30 which is tomorrow about 5 long ass essays. i was in such a bad mood until i read the damn vin diesel thing. i used to hate him, but now i cant help but laugh at him and not hate him.


anyone can link me to the mr t one?
__________________


Supra: To surpass or go beyond.
Inygknok is offline  
Old 12-07-2005, 11:23 PM   #8
SuperJew
I like pie.
 
SuperJew's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Suburbia Central, New York
Posts: 2,584
here's for Mr.T: http://www.4q.cc/t/index.php?topthirty

and here's for Chuck Norris: http://www.4q.cc/chuck/index.php?topthirty

enjoy
__________________


CF's Resident Pimp Slapper

Pimp Slap Count (as of 30 May 2004): 34
SuperJew is offline  
Old 12-07-2005, 11:28 PM   #9
67Coronet383
CF Riff Master
 
67Coronet383's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Under a hood, Georgia
Posts: 628
Somehow I don't find it funny...
__________________
67Coronet383 is offline  
Old 12-08-2005, 01:16 AM   #10
windsonian
Dodger65's weirdo
 
windsonian's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Down Below
Posts: 2,081
Quote:
Originally Posted by 67Coronet383
Somehow I don't find it funny...
That's because you're a joyless person....
__________________
You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.
windsonian is offline  
Old 12-08-2005, 01:45 AM   #11
newyorker
MXman
 
newyorker's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Philly
Posts: 5,291
There was an article in some paper about him being gay...not that theres anything wrong with that but its kinda cool how there a hunky gay man that stars in all of these action packed movies full of explosions. I wouldnt even have known because hes not the typical gay. Not flamboyant.
__________________
04 Mazdaspeed Miata #2373/4000: IHI, BBS, Harddog, Flyin'Miata.

newyorker is offline  
Old 12-08-2005, 02:07 AM   #12
Pythias
CF Extraordinaire
 
Pythias's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Ohio, U.S.
Posts: 1,831
Quote:
Originally Posted by newyorker
There was an article in some paper about him being gay...not that theres anything wrong with that but its kinda cool how there a hunky gay man that stars in all of these action packed movies full of explosions. I wouldnt even have known because hes not the typical gay. Not flamboyant.

Yeah I definitely dunno where you heard that, The Enquirer maybe?
__________________
"Though I drive through the valley of rice,I shall fear no turbo for torque art with me. Thy rod and piston, they comfort me."

"It is not the strong who will win, but the winner who is strong." -ROTK7
"You wrote "The World Doesn't Need A Savior" but everyday I hear people crying for one."
Pythias is offline  
Old 12-08-2005, 02:16 AM   #13
GreekWarrior
CF Extraordinaire
 
GreekWarrior's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: "Down-under"
Posts: 2,369
Quote:
Originally Posted by Inygknok
im gonna be fully honest right now. im currently crying from all the laughter and i have an intense chest pain. i had to wake up at 5:30 after falling asleep at 2am for a test at 7am. then study for a spanish test at 11:30 which is tomorrow about 5 long ass essays. i was in such a bad mood until i read the damn vin diesel thing. i used to hate him, but now i cant help but laugh at him and not hate him.


anyone can link me to the mr t one?


Glad to help.
__________________

GreekWarrior is offline  
Old 12-08-2005, 02:34 AM   #14
newyorker
MXman
 
newyorker's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Philly
Posts: 5,291
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pythias
Yeah I definitely dunno where you heard that, The Enqueerer maybe?
Yea thats about right.
__________________
04 Mazdaspeed Miata #2373/4000: IHI, BBS, Harddog, Flyin'Miata.

newyorker is offline  
Old 12-08-2005, 03:59 AM   #15
Pythias
CF Extraordinaire
 
Pythias's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Ohio, U.S.
Posts: 1,831
Quote:
Originally Posted by newyorker
Yea thats about right.

LoL just cause your gay doesn't mean you have to go makin things up about people you believe are respected, so that it won't make you look so bad. Yeha there were also many rumors about Tom Cruise being gay, there are millions of rumors about any one superstar at one point in time. Guess they all must be true, huh genius? Seriously I thought you would have matured and learned in the time you have been here at CF but you still display the same ignorance level as before, whether its making dumb comments or assumptions about someone or something, or trying to flame someone for not knowing something you do (although this only happens once in a great while usually by some noob.) Grow up.
__________________
"Though I drive through the valley of rice,I shall fear no turbo for torque art with me. Thy rod and piston, they comfort me."

"It is not the strong who will win, but the winner who is strong." -ROTK7
"You wrote "The World Doesn't Need A Savior" but everyday I hear people crying for one."
Pythias is offline  
Closed Thread


Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Forum Jump



All times are GMT +1. The time now is 11:19 PM.

Powered by vBulletin Version 3.5.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Copyright 2002 - 2011 Car Forums. All rights reserved.