Ok, here's the deal, about 8 months ago, I got a nice compact car, brand new for about 15k, and now I'm ready to trade up to something cooler. Now I'm not usually the type to whine and complain and all this, but this doesn't seem very fair. I put 1000$ into the car, with rims, so that means I spent 16,000$ on it. I've put about 7000 miles on it.
Here's what I want to trade up to. an 03 CLK500, and put about 7000$ worth of Brabus mods on it http://www.brabus.com
, specificaly make it look like the car here: http://www.brabus-usa.com/mbcars.html
2nd from the top, except with, matte rims, instead of chrome.
You know I call the guys, and they want something like 56,000$ for it, and it is a 46,000$ car to begin with... again maybe 8,000$ worth of mods on it. This car is called a brabus 6.1 except without the engine. You get the idea. Now here is the cool part, my budget is about 26,000$, you know because I need furniture for my house, all these cool things.
Twenty Six Grand, some people make that much money in a Year, let alone, have that laying around, **** there are people starving in Africa lest I mention, while I'm here complaining about our profiteering auto industry.
Ok so tight budget, and I need to re-invest pretty much everything I make now in my business, and I want a unusual, but classy car to ride in.
A new CLK500 sells fro 55,000$ and people even say it is not all that without the sport package. Supposedly the car is the equivalent of a limp dick without it. (worry not, lowering springs can fix that up, right away).
Now like I was saying, I hear Mercedes are Extremely unreliable, but don't fear, the car comes with a 4 year warranty, to a little over January 07 and is good upto 50,000 miles.
Here is what I ideally want, a simple transaction, I give a man 22,000$ and a almost brand new, Chevrolet Cobalt Coupe, with or without 1 grand rims, and he gives me a Black CLK 500, with Black Interior, with 31,000 miles on it, no questions asked, and nobody tells anyone where I hid the 12 pounds of cocaine.
Then I personally consult Micky Mouse, and he magically materializes 3 grand out of thin air, I instal my parts and you see a big smile on my face, because of how mother ****ing cool my car is.
Now here is what is really going to happen. All of the GOOD CLK500's are going to, firstly be high millage, and scuffed up by some freak, who miss treats Mercedes Benzes. Secondly, all CLK 500's will have, a useless navigation system, which tells you to go the wrong way on one way roads, and make illegal left turns, this will drive the price up an additional 2k, for something I don't want in the first place. Furthermore, all of the good colors will be not for sale... the only available color will be Forest Ever Green (who the F*ck buys a car in FOREST EVER GREEN in the first place?). Finally dealers will try to upsell me, to buy a car for 40 grand, but this is cool, because I'm fine with paying money I don't have. Really dealer guys, you are cool. A+ work.
Here is my favorite kicker though, this will shock you, remember that car I told you I put 16k into? It is worth, ten thousand dollars now. Less if you ask Kelly Blue Book.
Now let's consider a few other options...
Lexus SC 430
Infinity M35 <--- Can't Buy It (at it's depreciated price)
Lexus SC 430 <--- Too Small
BMW M3 <--- Falls Apart (02)
You know what's left guys? That wonderful, car by Infinity. Call me crazy, but I'm not too fond of becoming a G Thirty F*ggot. You know that thing with 4 wheels that everyone else drives. It is so cheep I will have cash left over to BATHE in, yes sir, it actualy reminds me of something cool. You know the Ford Model-T of days past, it's a lot like it, don't get me wrong, it's shapely interior, and model-T like stance, and producability, really give, everyone including me a sort of commonality with it... that being said, I am convinced there is a Conspiracy, by Infinity, to make every single person in the US drive an Infinity G35, including but not limited to, at least 7 or 8 among my friends.
Oh where is the love to us Mercedes Folk. Either way I am confident that a CLK500 will turn up, that meets my specifications. I am very confident in this. If any dealers can get me discounts, I will give you more hugs than Valentines Day.