The Fatmobile (fun)
As people grow larger in the US, one has to wonder what effect it will have on the design of future automobiles. When the average weight of Americans approaches 500 lbs, the car will require major changes for safe vehicle operation. The width of cars may have to be broadened to accommodate two 500 pounders. Pedals will need to be three feet apart because they can’t get their feet together. The suspension system will need to be strengthened to prevent problems. Will four tires be enough to carry the load, without damage to our highways? Most of the cars on the road today aren’t designed to carry four 500 pounders. Will we be able to produce a car which can still drive up to a McDonald's window?
When will Ford or Chevy introduce the Fatmobile concept car.
But then maybe hope:
Humans Evolving, the next step in evolution.
All over the world, scientists are finding examples of genetic changes in human beings, which lead them to believe that man is changing into a form unique to space travel.
Dr. Warren Mushy of the Gadaba Institute of Genetic Research states, “These humans, which have only appeared on the planet in the last 40 years, seem to be uniquely designed for space travel. Their arms and legs have almost become useless, and their bodies appear to be able to store vast quantities of energy, both of which would be great assets on long voyages in space. Their ability to sleep for weeks at a time, without the use of drugs is also a factor which would help in space travel. Gravity seems to be an extreme detriment to this new species, so the weightless conditions of travel among the stars would be a wonderful environment for them to function in. The only drawback we have seen so far is their inability to breed true, or breed at all for that matter, but we are confident that nature will solve that problem over the next hundred years or so. America seems to be leading the world in the production of this new human.”
A NASA spokesman, who wished to remain anonymous, says, “This solves so many problems for us in space travel. We can now concentrate on the extra fuel, food and the extra large bathrooms necessary to sustain these people in space. However, seats, beds, and exercise equipment are totally unnecessary now. The soft gelatinous mass, which surrounds their bodies, protects them from injury should they bump into anything in the spacecraft, so our safety program can be cut in half. Of course, a big screen tv and DVD, with WB channel reruns, have become terribly important now, but we were thinking about installing those anyway.”
So far, scientists have found at least three genes which separate these people from other humans.
The first gene, causes the mouth to chew constantly, the second, which produces long periods of sleep and inactivity, and the third which, releases mass quantities of endorphin agents anytime a tv set displaying the “Jerry Springer Show”, is nearby. Scientists have named this new species “Amoebae Sapiens.”
(OK, I got a sick mind)
Robert Benchley (1889-1945) noted, "no matter how well-intended, any reply to a dumba$$ question will inevitably appear smarta$$ed"