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Old 07-07-2004, 10:10 PM   #1
zipper
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Salesman

Any funny salesman stories? Everybody on this board are probably car enthusiasts; probably know more about the cars than the car salesman. Have you ever been to a car dealership where they try to explain to you what horsepowers and torques are and make mistakes while doing it?
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Old 07-08-2004, 12:26 AM   #2
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I dont think I like where this thread is going.

But then I could give a few stories of so called "car enthusiasts" who think because they have read a few stories from performance car, fast4s and not actually driven a turbo car that they think they know it all!

they read the horsepower of a car and then the horse power of another car and pick the one thats "the best" by reading numbers they might know the engine number for every subaru known to man? but they would put every single one into the wall if they ever actually drove one.

Well thats the end of my rant just keep in mind you dont know if you aint tried! which is something I've recently learnt.


Oh, btw, maybe I should point out that I'm a car salesman. Incase you where wondering why this mad ba***rd was going on and on!
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Old 07-08-2004, 12:49 AM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Unlicensed
I dont think I like where this thread is going.

But then I could give a few stories of so called "car enthusiasts" who think because they have read a few stories from performance car, fast4s and not actually driven a turbo car that they think they know it all!

they read the horsepower of a car and then the horse power of another car and pick the one thats "the best" by reading numbers they might know the engine number for every subaru known to man? but they would put every single one into the wall if they ever actually drove one.

Well thats the end of my rant just keep in mind you dont know if you aint tried! which is something I've recently learnt.


Oh, btw, maybe I should point out that I'm a car salesman. Incase you where wondering why this mad ba***rd was going on and on!

Sorry if I offended you or anything but that's not where I was going. I'm not dissing the car salesmen by any means. Since they probably don't know who they're talking to, they probably should explain everything but sometimes their pitches are pretty funny. It funny when car salesmen treat you like you don't know anything about cars. (Although I don't, not much anyways )
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Old 07-08-2004, 01:08 AM   #4
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i honestly cant think of any events that have happened to me with car salesmen off hand...... but it has happened with mechanics and such. do those count?
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Old 07-08-2004, 01:36 AM   #5
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no worries! not offended, just pre-empting the incoming.

and go with the mechanic stories. I like telling customers that the problem with thier car is the "LRT" controller, (LITTLE ROUND THING) or the DRC (dont really care).
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Old 07-10-2004, 09:56 AM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Unlicensed
no worries! not offended, just pre-empting the incoming.

and go with the mechanic stories. I like telling customers that the problem with thier car is the "LRT" controller, (LITTLE ROUND THING) or the DRC (dont really care).

ohh THAT is funny. roflmfao. It makes me wanna go play stupid just to hear someone say something like that then just bust out with all these car words. See what he/she does when they realize i know about cars. If they ask u what the LRC or DRC thing is what do u say?
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Old 07-10-2004, 12:21 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Unlicensed
no worries! not offended, just pre-empting the incoming.

and go with the mechanic stories. I like telling customers that the problem with thier car is the "LRT" controller, (LITTLE ROUND THING) or the DRC (dont really care).


ROFL!!!!! kudos on that one!


ok, that was a good laugh.

anyhow, as for the mechanic stories. this first one has happened to me 3 times already, and it has never failed to make me laugh in their faces. i buy my spark plugs and oil filter at Pep Boys (u can count on them to atleast have such simple things). so unfortunately, i have to go ask those guys behind the counters for the code number of the correct oil filter for my car so i can go look for it. i always go up to them and say, "oil filter for an 88 supra turbo please". i know its a rare car in the island.... but i laugh every time they say "is that a mazda or a toyota?".... ok so i tell them, "its a toyota, sir". so they check it up..... n give me the number, and i tell them, "some spark plugs too plz" (spark plug thing was only once). the guy went and got me the set but only brought me 4, i asked him where were the other 2. he said, "isnt it a 4 cylinder?". i nicely said to him, "no, its a toyota supra". so he answers, "yea, its a toyota, so it has 4 cylinders. i went to college."

i must have blanked out for a minute that seemed like 4 hours cuz then i just burst into laughter. i tried to calm down and tell him, "um, no, SIR, its a 6 cylinder. all supras are." then he wanted to argue with me and i told him, "do u see that white car in the front door thats parked sideways with the top off? thats my car, and guess wat? its a toyota supra that has 6 cylinders, if u want, we can go have a look and u can even ask my own mother thats a mechanic retard n she will tell u that its an inline-6 with a ct-26 turbo."

he actually made me go to the car and open it for him, and he was in a state of shock to see he was wrong. they gave me the oil filter for free for causing trouble (i complained for the stupidity). i think they fired him that day, mainly cuz their computers even clearly say "7M-GTE, 3.0L, 7M-GE/7M-GTE".

so much for his college education eh?
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Old 07-11-2004, 07:01 AM   #8
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hahaha you gotta ask yourself if these same collage educated people are running countries anywhere near you?

as for anyone asking what a lrt is? honestly has never been asked to me yet! the trick is throwing enough bull in the sentence that they don't wanna look stupid by questioniing everything I've just said. Plus our male pride stops most of us guys showing we don't know EVERYTHING about cars! especialy to a saleman

Never try this on a chick though!!! it's hard enuf to explain spark plugs to the average female I get on the yard. (not all!! plz don't start the sexist stuff on me). they will want diagrams and everything spelled out to be sure of what your telling them.

Must just say thank you to all the honest mechanics out there!! I remember years ago I was sure my head gasket had blown and told my guy to fix it and ring when finished. I said what the problem was and left without waiting, He rang the same day and said pick up your car its fixed!
I got there and was told that it was just the distibutor cap was f#*ked and here you go $25 bill. He could have stung me for hours of labour on the twin cam engine and just said "i done what you told me?" but no! he was honest and I thank all like him!! Damn! back then he could ave told me it was the LRT and I would have paid him!
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Old 07-11-2004, 02:04 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Unlicensed
hahaha you gotta ask yourself if these same collage educated people are running countries anywhere near you?

as for anyone asking what a lrt is? honestly has never been asked to me yet! the trick is throwing enough bull in the sentence that they don't wanna look stupid by questioniing everything I've just said. Plus our male pride stops most of us guys showing we don't know EVERYTHING about cars! especialy to a saleman

Never try this on a chick though!!! it's hard enuf to explain spark plugs to the average female I get on the yard. (not all!! plz don't start the sexist stuff on me). they will want diagrams and everything spelled out to be sure of what your telling them.

Must just say thank you to all the honest mechanics out there!! I remember years ago I was sure my head gasket had blown and told my guy to fix it and ring when finished. I said what the problem was and left without waiting, He rang the same day and said pick up your car its fixed!
I got there and was told that it was just the distibutor cap was f#*ked and here you go $25 bill. He could have stung me for hours of labour on the twin cam engine and just said "i done what you told me?" but no! he was honest and I thank all like him!! Damn! back then he could ave told me it was the LRT and I would have paid him!


lol! yea, its nice to see there are still some mechanics like that around.


this other story is for when my friend Jay (yes, prelude boy back again) had his old engine back before december. ever since he bought his 1992 Prelude, auto, H23A1, he had problems atleast 3-4 times a week. the car even stalled twice when he took it out of the dealership for a test run. i asked him, "oh, u stalled it? but u dont even know how to drive stick shift". so he replied, "i dont, it was an automatic". yea, talking to him is like a big joke.

so yea, he was stupid enough to go ahead and buy it even though it had a misfire, stalled, and had a few other problems. the day after he bought it, i had to pick him up cuz his car stalled and wouldnt start at all.

anyhow, im gonna stop humiliating him so bad n just jump to humiliating his mechanic. the car had a really strong vibration when it was either just standing still and in the lower miles, and it would rock really damn hard if u put the A/C on, it even sometimes stalled again. so he took it to his mechanic, and i told him, "dude... i think its the head gasket". he wouldnt listen to me, just cuz his mechanic said, "oh, the head gasket is just fine, it was just the o-rings, and this car runs so much faster than even the stock trim.". Jay was stupid enough to believe him, so stupid that he would always tell me, "but i dont know why u complain about my car being slow. u drive a supra man..... and Luisma (the mechanic) says its faster than a stock one". so i told him to take it to the track..... ran a 17.2 and his neighbor which is a really good driver, ran a 17.8 by shifting with the auto trans.

i laughed so hard that he wouldnt talk to me for 5 days (as if i cared). all in all, he kept ignoring my warnings about the HG and he kept listening to his mechanic talking bullcrap every single day. something new was always broken, even though i said it wasnt (turns out, Jay asked for all the parts and we took it to an expert, the owner of the island's top motor distributor places, or one of the top ones, and i was right, nuthin was broken except for the master cylinder).

so down came December, and he calls me up n says, "dude, come down to my house quick! i was driving around and all of a sudden there is a loud bang and theres oil everywhere. i bought some more oil in pep boys and it only lasted till i got home". he lives just ONE minute away from the nearest Pep Boys.... i told him to look at his engine n tell me if he saw anything grey-ish or just anything melting through the sides of the head and block. he said he wasnt sure (cuz he was a moron), so he put his brother in law on the phone, he quickly said, "Noel, u remember that warning u gave him? about the head gasket?. i said, "yea, i know, i know it broke. tell him to kiss his engine bye bye for me".

i went down to his house later that day.... oh man.... the biggest spill of oil in my whole life (from a car and up close and personal). he has never again taken the car to that mechanic, n he doesnt even try to bitch at me anymore over these things. i told him to stick to wat he knows, his multi-millionaire dreams of having a christian punk band (yea, he thinks hes Pantera and POD).

the guys that performed the swap of the new h23a1 told him that the old engine was sooooo messed up, that they werent even gonna salvage anything in it, cuz they couldnt. right now, i think his new h23 is going to die, cuz he has abused it quite a bit and it has been making some odd sounds.... oh yea, he took it to his old mechanic once to change the water pump, and they screwed up his timing belt (which he wouldnt believe me about). took it to his new mech, and woop-dee-doo, it was the timing belt.
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Old 07-11-2004, 03:56 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Unlicensed
I dont think I like where this thread is going.

But then I could give a few stories of so called "car enthusiasts" who think because they have read a few stories from performance car, fast4s and not actually driven a turbo car that they think they know it all!

they read the horsepower of a car and then the horse power of another car and pick the one thats "the best" by reading numbers they might know the engine number for every subaru known to man? but they would put every single one into the wall if they ever actually drove one.

Well thats the end of my rant just keep in mind you dont know if you aint tried! which is something I've recently learnt.


Oh, btw, maybe I should point out that I'm a car salesman. Incase you where wondering why this mad ba***rd was going on and on!

Hold on to your keyboard!
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Old 07-12-2004, 08:01 AM   #11
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Hold on to your keyboard!



what are you on about?
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