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Old 02-02-2004, 07:26 AM   #1
asa67_stang
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The 213 Things Skippy Are No Longer Allowed to Do in the U.S. Army

some of these had me rolling

Quote:
Don't take the batteries out of the other soldiers alarm clocks (Even if they do hit snooze about forty times).

The Irish MPs are not after 'Me frosted lucky charms'.

Not allowed to wake an Non-Commissioned Officer by repeatedly banging on the head with a bag of trash.

Not allowed to let sock puppets take responsibility for any of my actions.

Not allowed to let sock puppets take command of my post.

Not allowed to chew gum at formation, unless I brought enough for everybody.

(Next day) Not allowed to chew gum at formation even if I *did* bring enough for everybody.

Not allowed to sing 'High Speed Dirt' by Megadeth during airborne operations. ('See the earth below/Soon to make a crater/Blue sky, black death, I'm off to meet my maker')

Can't have flashbacks to wars I was not in. (The Spanish-American War isn't over).

Our medic is called 'Sgt Larwasa', not 'Dr. Feelgood'.

Our supply Sgt is 'Sgt Watkins' not 'Sugar Daddy'.

Not allowed to ask for the day off due to religious purposes, on the basis that the world is going to end, more than once.

I do not have super-powers.

I am not the Psychological Warfare Mascot.

I may not line my helmet with tin foil to ‘Block out the space mind control lasers'.

May not pretend to be a facist stormtrooper, while on duty.

I am not authorized to prescribe any form of medication.

I must not flaunt my deviances in front of my chain of command.

May not wear gimp mask while on duty.

No military functions are to be performed ‘Skyclad'.

Woad is not camouflage makeup.

May not conduct psychological experiments on my chain of command.

"Teddy Bear, Teddy bear, turn around" is *not* a cadence.

The MP checkpoint is not an Imperial Stormtrooper roadblock, so I should not tell them "You don't need to see my identification, these are not the droids you are looking for."

I may not call block my chain of command.

i want to meet this guy, seriously
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Old 02-02-2004, 12:38 PM   #2
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I don't see a problem with lining your helment with tin-foil.
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Old 02-02-2004, 01:20 PM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lectroid
I don't see a problem with lining your helment with tin-foil.


It's so the aliens can't read your mind. I see nothing wrong either. damn aliens.
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Old 02-02-2004, 02:08 PM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Satty101
It's so the aliens can't read your mind. I see nothing wrong either. damn aliens.

Yep, a mind is a terrible thing.
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Old 02-02-2004, 06:06 PM   #5
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<-----is lost

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Old 02-02-2004, 06:11 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SuperJew
<-----is lost



Ever see the movie "Signs"? wait, what part don't you understand.
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Old 02-02-2004, 06:14 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Satty101
Ever see the movie "Signs"? wait, what part don't you understand.

ive seen signs but i didnt get the whole first post....
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Old 02-03-2004, 09:27 PM   #8
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it's military humor
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i wish i knew now what i will know in thirty years, that would be nice...

the 'net has warped my fragile little mind
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